


When Friends Really Matter

by amybri2002



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: High School AU, Human AU, M/M, and also injuries, anyway onto the fic, deceit is in this and he isn't very nice, hospital mentions, i promise i haven't hurt our boys too much okay, i promise that you'll get a happy ending at least, i'll put individual triggers at the top of specific chapters, if i’ve missed any potential triggers in any chapters please let me know so i can add them, it's mostly fluff I swear, oh yeah there's some homophobia too i should mention that, some blood mention but nothing too drastic, there is some description of panic attacks, there's just a bit of friendship angst, wow i didn't realise how much angst i put in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-22 23:18:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 35,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18537499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: Virgil had never been good at making friends. Throughout the entire first sixteen years of his life, he had made a grand total of one friend - Logan, the son of his fathers business friend. But when Virgil moves to a new school, the same one as Logan, things between the two of them go downhill. New people come into his life and old people leave. That's just life, isn't it?However, things soon get out of hand when the new clashes with the old. Will these two worlds ever be able to live in peace? Can Virgil bring two enemies together? Or will everything fall apart again, just like they always do?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank for you clicking on this! 
> 
> This fic was written for the Reverse Big Bang hosted by @sanderssidesfanfiction on Tumblr. It was based on some pieces of artwork by the amazing @rupige, who is an excellent artist, please go check out her work, she’s great. I’d also like to thank my good friend @theloveliestjellyfish for beta-ing this fic (thank you i love you). 
> 
> But anyway, I hope that y’all enjoy this!!! I spent a long time working on it and honestly I’m so excited to share it with you all. 
> 
> Here we go ^^

**Monday** **4th** **March**  
_3:13_

It was dark outside. The young boy leant his head against the window, watching the cars on the other side of the road zoom past. There was something relaxing about the blur of light that rushed by every few seconds, like shooting stars showing themselves to the boy to make all his wishes come true. And with the added effect of the gentle vibrations against his skull, his heart could beat at the perfect speed, and his steady breathe was proof enough that he would be alright.

"Virgil, how many times do I have to tell you to _not_ lean on the window?"

Or maybe not.

"Sorry, Dad," Virgil said, barely above a whisper, as he began to sit up straight and look at the road ahead instead.

"We don't have long to go until we reach the new house," his dad reminded him. "Once we're there, you can lean on your bedroom window all you like."

Virgil's lips perked up, but he mostly maintain a straight face. "That doesn't have the same effect and you know it."

His dad didn't reply, which Virgil didn't mind. The car filled up with absolute silence, other than the quiet buzzing of the engine. No music, no talking, as it usually was in car rides with the two of them. The father and son didn't have all that much in common, and neither was one for speaking in the first place. At least, not with smalltalk. Virgil's dad was excellent at public speaking, and with leading business meetings, or exchanging words of support to other businessmen. Virgil, however, had never been one for all that stuff.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Curious as to who would be texting him at such an hour, Virgil took out his phone, thankfully already set to the lowest brightness, and quickly skimmed over the contents of the text message.

 **3:19 logic:** _Greetings, Virgil. Assuming that you were asleep when I sent this, good morning. If not, good evening. I just wanted to say that I look forward to seeing you in the near future, outside the context of a formal occasion. I am happy to accompany you at school tomorrow if you so wish. Sincerely, Logan._

Virgil couldn't hold back his smile. He quickly shot a text back.

 **3:20 Me:** _1) ur a nerd, 2) u don't need to sign texts, and 3) hanging with u at school would be nice_

He locked his phone, and leant back in his chair, looking up at the stars outside the front window of the car. They were surprising bright tonight, with clear skies that Virgil rarely saw. After a few moments of staring in wonder, letting his mind wander off to wherever, he frowned, and unlocked his phone again, sending another message to Logan.

 **3:21 Me:** _also what r u doing up at 3am_

Not a moment later, Logan sent a message back.

 **3:21 logic:** _I could ask you the same question._

Virgil rolled his eyes.

 **3:21 Me:** _i'm in the car, remember?_

 **3:22 logic:** _Oh. Of course, I'm sorry. I was actually staying up to see if I heard anything from you._

"Who are you texting?" his dad asked, his voice cutting through the silence.

"Logan," Virgil replied.

His dad hummed. "As in, Logan Thompson? Carl's boy?"

"Yeah, him," Virgil confirmed, continuing to type out a response.

 **3:23 Me:** _dude go tf to sleep_

"I'm happy to see you keeping in contact with him," his dad said. "It's nice to see you making friends, at least."

Virgil scoffed. "I'm only friends with him because everyone else at those 'parties' completely suck-"

"Virgil!" his dad scolded.

He held up his hands as if to defend himself. "I'm just telling the truth. I can actually bare being around Logan. I need _something_ to do when you drag me out to those places."

There was a long silence. Whilst waiting for his dad to response, Virgil ignored the buzz from his phone.

"Okay, that's fair enough," his dad finally gave in, smiling a little. Virgil let out a short burst of air from his nose in what could loosely be described as a laugh, before turning back to his phone.

 **3:24 logic:** _I only wanted to make sure that you were doing okay, Virgil. Although, I shall take your advice and get some sleep. Have a safe journey, and goodnight._

Virgil held back a smile as he type his response.

 **3:27 Me:** _night u nerd_

_4:12_

Virgil sat on his bed in the almost-empty bedroom, staring at the pale moonlight seeping in through the window. Having arrived at the house at almost four am, he hadn't had time to unpack all that much, other than his bedding for the night (which he had kept in the car just in case), his clothes for tomorrow, and a small assortment of items to get him through the night and his first day at a new school. For once, though, he didn't care that he wasn't in a comfortable environment. Usually Virgil would have trouble sleeping in a new place, away from where he was used to spending most of his time in, away from the safety of his own bed, but on that night, all he wanted to do was sleep.

He stood up and walked across the room to the window, immediately realising that this room was way bigger than his old one. Strange - his dad had said that this new house would be smaller than their previous one. Then again, Virgil wasn't entirely sure if his dad even _knew_ the definition of 'small'. Once Virgil reached the window, he shut the curtains tight, shrouding the room in a veil of darkness that lingered only until he clicked a switch by the plug just next to his bed, and the ceiling above him exploded into an entire galaxy.

He laid down and stared up into his own private space, allowing himself to relax under the beautiful colours. Perhaps Virgil was too old for a nightlight at this point, but if it helped to calm him down, then so be it. And under the light of these artificial stars, Virgil managed to will himself into a peaceful sleep. 


	2. Chapter Two

_6:30_

A blaring alarm woke Virgil up. Groaning, he turned over in his bed, and angrily slammed his finger against his phone screen, turning the alarm off, before rolling back over and closing his eyes again. No loud sound could force him to get up at half six in the morning after only getting an hours or so sleep.

The more he thought about it, the more he realised that moving the very day before his first day at a new school was a terrible idea. He knew that he would have arrived late at night, and he knew he would have had to be up early that morning. Surely they should've moved before, right? Had his dad not thought about that? Then again, he doubted his dad would have cared, or even listened to him. He had way too much work to do to take care of his own kid, or something like that.

Virgil didn't mind all that much. He knew that his dad's work was important, so even from a young age Virgil had been capable of caring for himself, doing jobs around the house, cooking and cleaning, all the stuff that he probably shouldn't have been forced to do at the age of six and a half. Still, he refused to complain, because Daddy was busy and Mummy couldn't come back to help.

Sunlight seeped in through the slightly opened curtains, indicating that it was probably time to wake up. Virgil sat up in his bed and slowly made his way out and over to the window, where he opened his curtains fully. He watched his dads car go out the gate and into the forest just in front of his house - that would be him going straight to work, of course. Fair enough. Virgil could deal with being alone in the house for a bit until he had to leave. From what he had been told, the school wasn't too far away from his house, so, since Virgil was a fairly fast walker, it should only take ten/fifteen minutes to get to school. Maybe leave twenty minutes early, just in case.

He grabbed his t-shirt, hoodie and jeans off the floor from last night, and quickly changed into them. His dad had reassured him that this new school didn't have a uniform like his old one, which Virgil was only half-glad about. On the one hand, at least he didn't have to deal with blazers and ties and everything, but on the other hand, he'd have to pay attention to what he was putting on, which he was not okay with. It was easy enough to just put on the same shirt and trousers every day for school, but when everybody is wearing different things, everybody stands out, and Virgil did not want to stand out.

Whatever. At least it also probably meant that it wasn't a traditional school, since pretty much all schools within the country had a uniform. Maybe it would even be a smaller school, which Virgil could definitely get behind. He would be fine.

He glanced at his makeup bag sitting atop the set of drawers next to his bed, considering putting on his signature black eyeshadow and maybe a little extra just for a fun, but decided against it. He didn't know what this new school would be like, and definitely didn't want to be made fun of on the very first day. Maybe a little later into the term, when he was more comfortable around his new classmates. Or maybe he should just leave his makeup for the weekends.

Virgil left his room and made his way down the corridor into the bathroom, where he had a quick wash and did his hair. Not that there was much to do in that area. Most the time, he'd just leave his hair the way it was, maybe just running his hands through his bangs to make it look semi-presentable, but on that morning he had decided to actually brush it, since he was going to a new school and all.

When he returned to his room to grab his phone, he noticed that he had received a text message.

 **6:51: logic:** _Good morning, Virgil. I just wanted to ask if it would be beneficial if we met outside the school gates this morning?_

Virgil let out a sigh of relief, realising that he wouldn't be completely alone on his first day. He had Logan. He typed out a response.

 **6:57 Me:** _no signature this time? wow_

 **6:57 Me:** _but also that would be great_

He put his phone in his hoodie pocket and grabbed the backpack that he had brought up to his bedroom when he had first arrived, before making his way downstairs. He considers grabbing a quick breakfast, but came to the conclusion that he could not be bothered, so instead sat down on the bottom step of the stairs leading towards the front door. He took his phone out again, seeing that Logan had messaged him back.

 **6:59 logic:** _Yes, I figured that I'd take on board what you said last night. Or earlier this morning, I suppose. Anyway, is there a specific time that you would like to meet?_

Virgil tapped his finger on the back of his phone case as he thought about his response.

 **7:01 Me:** _what time does school start again?_

Logan took a while to response. For the whole time, Virgil stared at those three black dots.

 **7:04 logic:** _Form time typically starts at half eight, however we usually have to be there ten or so minutes before to get settled. But since it's your first day, it would be best if you arrived a little earlier to give you chance to get comfortable._

Virgil hummed.

 **7:04 Me:** _so should we, like, meet at 8?_

 **7:04 logic:** _Yes. That sounds suitable enough._

 **7:05 Me:** _cool, see you then_

That gave him just under an hour to get to school. If he left at... half past, perhaps, he'd have enough time to get there and to find the place where he was supposed to meet Logan. Even though he knew it would only be a fifteen minute walk. It was better to be safe than to be sorry.

Whilst he waited, he loaded up Tumblr on his phone and began to mindlessly scroll through the endless memes and shitposts, thankful for the distraction. He knew that he had to go to school and he knew that he wouldn't enjoy it. First day at a new school - something that Virgil had done a million times, and yet always seemed to dread it. You'd think that he'd be used to it by now, considering the amount of times he had to move because of his dad's job, or because the school he was at just wasn't suited for him, but he still didn't know how to deal with the new environments, the new people, the new classes, the-

 _Stop, Virgil, you'll only scare yourself,_ he told himself. _You don't want to go into the new school feeling like a complete mess._

Thankfully, Virgil soon received a message from one of his internet friends from across the Atlantic, somewhere in America.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
yooo gurl ur up early

Virgil sighed, but failed to hold back a smile as he stared at the message, before sending his quick reply.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
and you're up late. isn't it, like, two where you are? go to sleep?

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
have u even seen my url

 **onthevergeoftears**  
no i definitely do not look at it every single day

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
y r u up at 7

 **onthevergeoftears**  
school

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
i though u were on break

 **onthevergeoftears**  
not anymore

 **onthevergeoftears**  
also i'm at a new school so i wanted to get up early

It took a while for his friend - Remy, he was pretty sure his name was - to reply, and by the time he did, it had already reached half past, and Virgil needed to leave. But before that, he quickly read Remy's message and typed out a response of his own.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
good luck gurl!!! im cheering 4 ya!

 **onthevergeoftears**  
thanks dude. hopefully i won't screw everything up again. i gotta go now. also you'd better go to sleep at a reasonable time you spoon

Virgil closed Tumblr and stood up, grabbing his backpack as he made his way out the front door. Whilst walking down the (unreasonably long) driveway, he plugged in his earphones and turned on his music, allowing the angelic voice of Brendon Urie to calm him on his way into hell. But maybe this school wouldn't be so bad. Logan would be there, at least, and in all of Virgil's experiences, Logan always seemed to make things better. Whenever Virgil was dragged out to some dinner party, Logan would be there as a safe haven, a person he could complain to and would understand every word, a person who could help him when he needed a breath of fresh air.

_It'll be fine._


	3. Chapter Three

_7:49_

Virgil arrived at school way too early. Well, only ten minutes early, actually, but to him, that was way too early. It meant that he had to wait outside the gate for Logan to arrive - and by wait, he actually meant 'stand awkwardly by the wall and hope that none of the students passing by stare at him in confusion and/or disgust, which of course happens anyway'.

He still had his music, at least. And Tumblr. Remy had yet to message him back, which either meant he hated Virgil and never wanted to speak to him again, or he had gone to sleep - Virgil hoped that it was the latter. Whilst he waited for Logan to arrive, he scrolled through his dash, occasionally reblogging a piece of artwork or photograph. But as soon as Logan finally arrived, Virgil immediately closed the app and put his phone back in his pocket.

"You're early," Logan noticed.

Virgil sighed. "I didn't want to be late."

Logan nodded. "That's reasonable." He gave Virgil a half-smile. "It's nice to see you, Anxiety."

Virgil smiled back. "It's nice to see you too, Logic."

The two began to walk into the school, with Virgil trailing just a little behind Logan. Students surrounded him, all walking in the same direction towards the main building. Occasionally, a group of people would steer off to the side, or stop by their designated spot to chat and catch up with friends. Virgil tried his best to avoid all eye contact by focusing on a small white dot on the back of Logan's blazer ( _of course Logan's wearing a blazer_ ) and staying close enough to him that he (hopefully) wouldn't be noticed. As soon as Virgil made it into the main reception, he let out a breath that he didn't realise he had been holding.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked, addressing Logan.

Logan gave her a nod in greeting. "I was just helping a new student find his way here, and was hoping that you'd know what is happening with him."

"Oh!" The receptionist turned to Virgil, giving him a huge, cheesy smile, that made him immediately hate her. But that seemed a little unfair, so he tried his best to give her a smile back. "You must be Virgil, then? Virgil Andrews?"

"Yeah, that's me."

She clapped her hands together. "Perfect!" She reaches beneath her desk and pulled out a couple sheets of paper, which she then shoved towards Virgil. "Here is your schedule and map of the school, I believe we put you into form eleven-five, which-" She paused, glancing up at Logan. "Which form are you in again, sweetie?"

"Eleven-four," Logan stated.

"Ah. Well, I'm sure that Logan would be happy to take you over there anyway. Although, I could arrange for you to swap forms so that you're together?" she offered.

Virgil quickly shook his head. "N-no, it's fine, I, uh, don't want to cause any trouble. I'll be fine in a different form."

She grinned. "Thank you, Virgil."

"I'll take him over there now," Logan offered, nodding to the receptionist and beginning to turn around. Virgil copied him and followed him out of the door, and then further into the school.

"I hope you're okay with being in a form full of strangers," Logan stated, as the two entered another building and began to navigate the hallway, Virgil making sure to stay as close to Logan as possible.

Virgil shrugged. "It's fine. It's not like it's the first time. Besides, it's only form. That's like, what, fifteen minutes of the day?"

"Twenty minutes," Logan corrected, "but I suppose you're right." He hummed. "Hey, would you mind if I had a look at your schedule?"

"Sure." Virgil handed Logan a slightly screwed up piece of paper, which may or may not have been ruined by Virgil constantly fiddling with it in his hands ever since he had been given it. It was still readable, though. Not completely wrecked. He made a mental note to stop fiddling with the map that he was still holding.

Logan's eyes quickly glanced over the schedule, before he handed it back to Virgil. "It seems as though we have Science and English together, but everything else is different. We will also be able to see each other at break and lunch, though."

"Okay," Virgil said, silently celebrating in his head. "At least we're together for those two lessons."

"Indeed." Logan stopped abruptly in the corridor. "This is your form room."

Virgil had to take a step back so that he was besides Logan again. He looked inside the room, noticing that only the teacher was there. No one else in the class had arrived - he wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. The teacher caught him staring, and gave him a small but friendly wave.

"Form time starts in fifteen minutes," Logan said, turning Virgil's attention away from the room. "You can go in now if you wish, or I'm happy for you to stay out here with me."

Virgil shook his head. "Nah, it's cool, I'll, uh, go introduce myself." He took a deep breath. "I'll see you at lunch, right?"

"Yes." Logan smiled. "I'll send you a message telling you where we sit, if I don't see you before then."

"Cool." Virgil stepped towards the door, as Logan began to move away. "I'll see ya around, Lo!"

"Goodbye, Virgil!" Logan called from down the corridor.

Virgil turned back to the room, took another deep breath, and stepped inside. The teacher immediately smiled at him and stood up from his desk to make his way over to Virgil.

"Hi!" the teacher greeted, overly enthusiastically. "You must be Virgil, right?"

"Yeah, that's, uh, yeah." _Goddamnit Virgil, is it really that hard to speak?_

"I'm Mr Sanders," the teacher introduced. "We have a seat saved for you at the back." He gestured towards the corner by the window, overlooking the school field. Not a bad spot, actually. Then again, this was only his form room, so it wasn't as if a good spot mattered. He just hoped that whoever sat next to him would be alright.

Virgil made his way over to said seat, and sat down, letting out a sigh of relief. Maybe this school would be alright. Mr Sanders seemed nice enough, and looking back at his schedule, he realised that he would also teach Virgil's science class. He just hoped that everything would be alright.


	4. Chapter Four

_12:02_

Everything would not be alright. It had only been three lessons, and Virgil already wanted death. The first day was always the worst, Virgil kept telling himself, and yet, he couldn't help but worry that the rest of his year would go this way.

Perhaps he had been overreacting. All he had done was stand up in front of his form to introduce himself, a simple thing that he'd done millions of times before, a simple task he had to do every single time he had moved schools. Why had it been so difficult for him? He had choked on his words, stumbled through his quiet and disastrous introduction, _almost cried in front of the entire class._

 _But it would be fine_ , Virgil wanted to tell himself. _Nobody will even remember. You're so insignificant in your existence that nobody would have even payed attention to you. Everything is fine!_

Those thoughts couldn't be heard over the screaming in his mind.

The next lessons hadn't been as bad. Other than the initial confusing of where to sit, what to do, who everyone was, why everyone stared at him, he managed to calm down and get on with his work, no need to talk to or look at anybody. Not even the teacher. He was safe.

Break came and went, which Virgil just managed to suffer through by hanging outside his next classroom. The third class, History, hadn't been so bad - in fact, he had managed to half-befriend a particularly charming fellow by the name of Roman Prince, who spent the first fifteen minutes in an insult battle, although nothing too malicious, and then the next forty-five minutes discussing various Disney movies. And then came lunch.

Logan hadn't sent him any messages concerning where he could be found. That was perfectly fine. Virgil could figure out for himself, right?

Wrong. Just before he made it into the cafeteria, he heard his name called, and not by Logan. Virgil froze, unable to turn around until the voice was closer, right behind him.

"Virgil," it repeated, "can I talk to you for a moment?"

Reluctantly, Virgil spun on his heel to face the person. It didn't take him long to realise that it was Mr Sanders. His heartrate increased. Why would his form tutor want to talk to him? What had he done? Was he in trouble?

"You're not in trouble, don't worry," Mr Sanders said, apparently sensing Virgil's anxiety. "I just wanted to make sure that you're alright."

"I-I'm fine," Virgil said, desperately wanting to get out of there.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, of course." He didn't sound convincing at all.

"Look," Mr Sanders began, his tone soft and calm, "I know first days can be rough. And new schools. And I can tell you're not exactly a people person."

Virgil gave him a weak smile. "What gave you that idea?"

"I'm not a people person either, I know an introvert when I see one." Mr Sanders let out a small, nervous laugh. "But what I wanted to say was, if you ever need to talk to anybody, my classroom is always open."

"Oh... kay?"

Mr Sanders smiled, and then turned and left. Virgil let out a sigh of relief. What was with that guy? Sure, he seemed nice and all, certainly nicer than any other teacher Virgil had come by, but did he really have to be all up in Virgil's business like that?

 _It's okay Virgil_ , he told himself, _just go find Logan and forget all that ever happened._

Thankfully, Logan wasn't difficult to find, as he was standing just inside the doorway as Virgil entered.

"Finally," he said, "what took you so long?"

Virgil frowned. "I, uh, I don't-"

Logan's face fell. "Oh. Wait. Did I forget to send you a message? I'm sorry, you probably got lost-"

"No, no, don't worry!" Virgil interrupted. "I just, uh, my form tutor ambushed me on the way. I would have been able to find you anyway."

Logan let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God..." He frowned. "Why did Mr Sanders ambush you?"

"I honestly have no idea." Virgil took a step towards Logan. "Anyway, where do we sit?"

Logan seemed skeptical about Virgil's reply, but nevertheless lead him to a table filled with people Virgil didn't recognise, presumably Logan's friends. "I saved you a seat next to me." He sat down, and Virgil quickly took the seat he had referred to.

"Who's this?" one of the guys sitting around the table asked.

Virgil looked up at him, initially wincing at his harsh gaze, before reminding himself that this was Logan's friend and therefore would not hurt him, right? Although, he did look... intimidating, in a sense, with a black and yellow suit and a smile somewhere between a smirk and grimace. Virgil couldn't help but stare into those almost cold eyes, eyes that were... two different colours, one a deep shade of brown and the other a sickeningly bright shade of green. And his _voice_ \- it was smooth and gentle, deep and calming, but it had no excitement, no feeling whatsoever. He immediately got the feeling that this guy did not want him there at all.

"This is Virgil," Logan introduced, addressing the whole table. "He's just moved to this school. We were friends for several years before he moved here, so I thought it would be suitable to ask him to join us for lunch."

Virgil gave the group a smile, but said nothing.

"How come you've never mentioned him?" the black-and-yellow dude inquired, frowning slightly.

"You know I like to keep family life and school life separate, Dee," Logan replied. "I met Virgil through my fathers work."

The guy - Dee, Virgil guessed his name was - looked Virgil up and down, before turning back to Logan. "Very well. He can sit with us for the time being."

 _For the time being._ That last phrase didn't sit well with Virgil. Did it mean that Dee would eventually want him gone? Surely not, right? This was Logan's friend, and Logan knew exactly what Virgil was like. Logan wouldn't force him out of the group. Logan would always help Virgil. He always has done.

The rest of the group introduced themselves one by one, but Virgil didn't take in any of their names. The whole lunch time Dee stared at him, his eyes digging into the back of his skull, willing him, daring him to say something, anything to challenge him. Dee had found his next prey, and Virgil's heart would not calm down.


	5. Chapter Five

**Wednesday** **6th** **March**  
_18:12_

Virgil laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. School wasn't going... great. It had only been three days, but he had already decided that he didn't like Logan's friends, at all. They were just all... too much, if that made sense. They were loud and confusing and Virgil could hardly get a word in on any of their conversations, if he could even understand what they were talking about. And his classes were just as bad, since he didn't know any of the stuff that he was supposed to know, that everybody else had already learned. Perhaps joining half way through the year had been a bad idea - then again, it wasn't as if he had had a choice.

There was still a silver lining through - Mr Sanders was still a sweetheart. He seemed to understand the most about Virgil's position, and sought to help him whenever he could, both in form time and in his science classes. And of course, Logan always tried to help him as much as possible, just like he had done since their first meeting.

Also, there had been Roman, the guy he sat next to in history. The two had talked for a bit during the lesson - a conversation that to anyone listening would have just sounded like insults being thrown back and forth, an argument of sorts, but it held some different meaning to Virgil. And the look in that guys eyes...

The phone screen lit up besides him. Virgil turned on his side and picked up his phone, discovering that he had received a message on Tumblr, from Remy. He opened up his DMs.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
how is ur new scool treating u

 **onthevergeoftears**  
*school

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
leave me alone

 **onthevergeoftears**  
shouldn't you be in class right now?

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
ya but it's hella boring

 **onthevergeoftears**  
'hella'?

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
leAVE ME A LONE

 **onthevergeoftears**  
ok ok chill

 **onthevergeoftears**  
school had been eh.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
good or bad?

Virgil wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so after a moment he just repeated:

 **onthevergeoftears**  
eh.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
do i need to come over and fight any1

 **onthevergeoftears**  
no.

And then, after a moment of thought:

 **onthevergeoftears**  
not yet.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
im coming over there rn to beat up whoeveer has hurt u

 **onthevergeoftears**  
you have class tho

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
do i look like the type of person who would care about that

 **onthevergeoftears**  
...no

 **onthevergeoftears**  
but seriously, i'm okay! you do not need to worry about me :)

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
ok

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
well

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
imma take a nap

 **onthevergeoftears**  
dude, you're in class

Remy didn't respond after that. Virgil wouldn't have been surprised at all if he actually had gone to sleep. It probably wouldn't have been the first time.

 **Thursday 7th March 2019**  
_7:45_

Virgil slowly made his way down the stairs, prepared to leave for his short journey to school. Throughout the past couple days, he had figured out a routine that would give him the most amount of sleep possible, despite him often going to sleep at incredibly late (or rather, early) hours, and still get him to school in time, with him not being the first person in form, but also not being the last. Tuesday had been a little bit of a disaster, with Virgil waking up way too late and almost being the last person to arrive in his form, but Wednesday had gone a lot smoother, so he had done his best to replicate that this morning.

What he hadn't accounted for was his dad standing just outside the door.

"Good morning, Virgil," he greeted. "No breakfast, I see?"

"Uh..." He plastered on a smile. "Morning. I thought you'd already be on your way to work?" He elected to completely ignore his dad's second statement.

"I took the morning off, figured we haven't seen much of each other since the move," his dad replied, "and since you've ignored my question, I'm going to guess you haven't had breakfast."

Virgil sighed. "No. But does that really mat-"

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Virgil," his dad interrupted. "I even made you sausage and egg."

Virgil raised his eyebrow. "Wow. You cooked?"

"I am capable of cooking, you know," he said. "Come on. We'll eat together, okay? Catch up a little."

"Dad, I, uh, as much as I'd love to catch up, I kinda need to get to school..."

"I'll drive you."

There was silence.

"Come _on_ , Virgil, there aren't many days that we can do this."

After another moment of silence, Virgil gave in. "Fine."

He followed his dad into the kitchen, and took a seat at the table, where a plate with two sausages and one fried egg sat. Virgil began to eat, noticing that his dad's cooking wasn't quite as good as his own - then again, that was no surprise, since it was usually Virgil who did all the cooking. But they weren't inedible, at least, and it had been ages since Virgil had had sausage and egg, which was actually one of his favourite meals. Not too fancy, but not too plain. Just perfect. As a child, every other breakfast had just seemed like too much, but when Mummy had made sausage and egg for him? That had been _perfect_. Maybe his dad had wanted to remind him of that.

"So," his dad said, "how's school?"

Virgil shrugged. "It's fine, I guess. Lots of catching up to do, though."

"Made any friends?"

He thought back to Logan and his table of terrifying individuals. "Kinda."

"Kinda?" his dad repeated.

"Well, they're my friends, but they're not quite... friends." He cringed at how his statement made zero sense. "I mean, like, they're Logan's friends, so I'm just hanging out with them, mostly."

His dad nodded. "I understand. I'm glad that you and Logan are still friends, though."

Virgil smiled. "Yeah. He's, uh, he's like the one friend that I've actually kept over all these years." _Other than Remy_ , he added in his head, _but I've never even met him in real life, so that wasn't difficult._

"Carl told me you were hanging with him tomorrow night, after school," his dad said.

"Oh." Was he? Logan _had_ mentioned something about the group all going out for the night, as a celebration or something, but Virgil had presumed that meant _his_ friends. Not Virgil. But if Carl has said so... "Yeah, I guess that's happening."

His dad grinned. "I'm glad you're putting yourself out there, Verge."

His dad hadn't called him Verge for years.

_12:54_

"Hey, uh, Lo?"

Logan turned to face Virgil. The two were sat next to each other as usual, whilst the rest of Logan's friends talked amongst themselves. None of them had even noticed Virgil pulling Logan out of the conversation.

"What is, uh, actually happening tomorrow?" Virgil asked.

"We're just going out into town. There's a thing down at the local Wetherspoons," he explained. "You don't have to come if you don't want too. I know it's not really your thing. To be honest, it isn't mine, either."

"I, uh, don't think I have a choice," Virgil stated, trying his best to not sound bitter but knowing that he failed. "Your dad told my dad about it."

"Oh." Logan hummed. "Well, I'll be there, at least."

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, of course."

He smiled. Logan smiled back.

The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch, and the end of their conversation. Virgil stood up, grabbed his back, and began to exited the hall, but he stopped as he heard someone call his name.

Not just someone. _Him._ Dee.

"We both have history, right?" Dee said, jogging up so he stood next to Virgil. "Mind if we walk together?"

Virgil glanced at Logan, locking eyes to try and express his discomfort, but Logan just nodded. Great. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

The two walked in silence for a while. The entire time, Virgil wished that they could get to the classroom faster. But that wouldn't happen, so instead Virgil decided to just suffer in silence. Soon enough, he'd be in the classroom, and he could sit down away from Dee, and it would all be just fine.

Dee grabbed his arm, stopping him from entering the classroom, and pulled him to the side. Virgil tried to keep his heartbeat under control.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Dee asked, plastering that sarcastic smile onto his face. A smile that should have seemed sweet, but only managed to frighten all who looked. "About... your place as my friend."

Virgil didn't respond. Or have time to respond, really, as Dee just continued monologuing.

"I know you're associated with Logan due to your families, or whatever it is, but that does not mean you have the same relationship at school. Logan is mine, alright?" He smirked. "You can't do anything about that. And you don't fit in with us at all, do you, Virgil?"

Virgil still didn't respond.

"Soon enough, you'll be alone again. Logan won't want you staying around much longer. Just you wait."

Dee's grip on Virgil's wrist tightened, sending soaring pain up his arm and causing him to wince. But Dee just laughed.

"It may be months, or weeks, or even days, but sometime soon you'll get what's coming for you. So, enjoy it whilst you can."

He pulled Virgil away and into the classroom, not letting go of his wrist until he was at his seat at the front. Virgil quickly made his way to his own seat at the back, where he finally let out a sigh of relief, and rubbed his wrist to soothe the pain a little.

Roman glanced over at Virgil. "You alright?"

Virgil sighed. "I guess."

Roman frowned. "Who was that you came in with? A friend?"

"No," Virgil said, sharply. "Well, yes. A friend's friend. I don't really... like him."

Roman held back a laugh. "Yeah, I can tell. Did he hurt you?"

"No." Virgil shoved his hands under the desk. "I'm fine, honest."

"Okay..." Roman smiled. "But if he does ever hurt you, let me know, and I'll fight him for you."

"Dude, you've known me for, like, two days."

Roman shrugged. "I know."

"And all you've done in those two days is insult me."

"Hey!" Roman protested. "We also had a nice conversation about our favourite Disney movies!"

"Shut up, Princey."

"Did... you just give me a nickname based on my surname?"

Virgil rolled his eyes, and didn't respond. Roman also soon shut up, as their history teacher stepped into the classroom.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains a description of a panic attack

**Friday 8th March**  
_3:23_

Virgil glanced over at Logan and his friends standing further down the hall. They were waiting for him - he knew for certain that Logan would have made them. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get his legs to move forward. It was like some sort of invisible wall stood in his way, so that whenever he tried to make his way over there, he was just pushed back. He hated it. As much as he didn't want to go on this outing, he knew that he had to - for Logan.

Or did he? If he really wanted to, he could have just turned back right now and walked home. But if he did do that, he'd have to face his dad and explain why he hadn't gone with Logan. Assuming his dad was home, of course, but even if he wasn't, he'd find out eventually. Virgil didn't particularly want to tell his dad that Logan's friends sucked, for fear that it would just make him worry.

Virgil's phone beeped. He took it out of his pocket and glanced at the message.

 **3:24 logic:** _Where are you?_

He shoved his phone away again as his vision began to blur. _No, not now._ He could hear his heart pumping in his chest, drowning out all logical thoughts. The very idea of having to spend a night with those people, with Dee, freaked him out to the extent that he couldn't even move, couldn't even breath. He had to get out.

Without a second thought, Virgil spun on his heel and ran down the hallway, far, far away from the group. He felt a wetness on his cheek, but quickly wiped it away. He couldn't go outside in this state, couldn't go home, couldn't go to Logan, _he had nobody to go to._

He collapsed against a wall and tried to control his breath. No, not a wall - a door. He reached down for the handle, his hand shaking, and turned it, allowing himself to crash into the room. People looked up, staring. _Fuck._

One person stood up and made their way over. Virgil couldn't quite concentrate on them, couldn't quite figure out who they were, what they were saying. They seemed to realise that he wasn't going to reply. A second later, Virgil had sat down besides this person, at a table covered in various colourful materials - _red, green, blue, pink, black_. Virgil breathed in and out as he listed the colours in his head, over and over again. _Red, green, blue, pink, black._

His vision slowly returned to normal, and he could hear once again.

"Are you okay?"

Virgil's head snapped back up to the person who had helped him. A guy, he was pretty sure. Brown hair, almost reaching the shoulders, with the ends dyed a pastel blue. And freckles all across his cheeks - Virgil found himself counting them, one by one, helping to ground him back into reality.

"I'm, uh, yeah."

The freckled-guy gasped. "He speaks!" He paused. "Or not. What's your name? Pronouns?"

Virgil frowned. "Uh, Virgil. And... he/him, I guess?"

"Cool! I'm Patton, he/they, currently he/him," he introduced. "Did you want to join crafts club?"

Virgil blinked. Crafts club? What was this guy on about? Where was he? What was happening?

"Hey, buddy, you sure you're okay?" Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. "Yes, I promise I'm okay." Maybe if he kept saying that, he'd finally believe himself. "I just... I'll join the club thing." He still wasn't sure exactly what this club thing was, but if it meant he had a save haven for a while until it was safe to go home, then he was cool with it.

Patton grinned, seemingly excited about the news. "Awesome! We haven't had a new member in months!"

Virgil smiled back, and half-listened as Patton went on to ramble about the club and what they did and how he could help him. During this, Virgil held his phone under the table and quickly read through his messages from Logan.

 **3:37 logic:** _Virgil? I saw you down the hall a a few minutes ago, but now you've disappeared? Are you alright?_

 **3:39 logic:** _Come on, Virgil, we're all waiting for you. What happened?_

 **3:42 logic:** _The rest of my friends have already left, so I should probably catch up, since I'm assuming you won't be joining us. Please do leave a message if this is not the case, and I'll do my best to help you find your way to us._

 **3:49 logic:** _Virgil, are you alright?_

Virgil bit his lip as he read through the messages. Logan was really worrying for him, huh? He quickly typed back a short response, to at the very least let Logan know he was still alive.

 **3:51 Me:** _im sorry_

Patton frowned. "Was you listening to any of that?"

Virgil's head shot up. "Uh, yeah, of course."

"Then why were you on your phone?"

Virgil quickly shoved it back in his pocket. "What phone?"

Patton raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to ask one more time - are you sure that you're okay?"

Virgil hesitated.

"I'm going to take that as a no," Patton decided. "Would it be better if we maybe step outside for a moment?"

"No, it's fine," Virgil quickly said, not wanting to trouble Patton any more.

"You are visibly shaking, you know."

Virgil sighed. "Okay, yeah, maybe that is happening, but-"

Patton gently took his hand and stood up, bringing Virgil with him. The two left the room and walked a few metres down the corridor, where Patton then let go of Virgil and allowed him to lean against the wall, taking in a few deep breaths.

Now that Patton was stood up, Virgil found himself looking at him properly. He was wearing a blue crop top under a denim jacket, and... a darker blue skirt, definitely shorter than what should have been allowed.

"Are you even allowed to wear that?" Virgil asked, without realising what he was saying and how that could have offended him. Once he realised that, he immediately regretted it, and held his breath whilst waiting for a response.

Patton shrugged. "Nobody has stopped me yet. Surprisingly, the dress code says nothing about the length of a guy's skirt, so they can't say anything against it." He laughed a little. Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "But that isn't why we came out here. What's wrong?"

Virgil's face immediately fell. He knew that eventually this would come. He took a deep breath, and did his best to explain, hoping that it all made even the tiniest bit of sense.

"My friend is hanging out with his friends and he invited me to come along but I hate all of his friends - well, not exactly _hate_ but they scare me or something - and I didn't want to go but knew I had to go but I just ended up freaking out and running away and now I'm here and-"

"Virgil," Patton interrupted, "breath."

Virgil nodded, taking in another deep breath. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise."

"Sor-" He caught himself before he said 'sorry' again. "Okay."

"Anyway, from your story... this friend of yours doesn't seem great-"

"Hey!" Virgil exclaimed. "Logan is _great_ , we've been friends for... for years. He understands me more than _anyone_. And- And it isn't his fault that his friends all suck."

Patton hummed. "Well, maybe you just aren't looking at it right. Maybe if you get to know them more, they can also get to understand _you_ more, and maybe they don't really 'suck' like you think they do."

Virgil shook his head. "No. I... I can't do that. It won't- These are the type of people who would just change like that. And now Logan is worried about me, which is who I was texting earlier, by the way."

"It'll be okay," Patton promised, although Virgil didn't believe it one bit. He glanced down the corridor, noticing people leaving the classroom. "The clubs over now. But, uh, feel free to come back next time - we're here every Tuesday and Friday."

Virgil's eyes widened. "Wait, no, it- it can't be over yet. I-I can't go home. My dad still thinks I'm with Logan, I can't..." He trailed off.

Patton hummed. "I have a couple friends coming round to my place. They're all lovely people - Joan, Talyn, Roman-"

"Roman?" Virgil repeated. "As in, Roman Prince?"

Patton grinned. "You know him?"

Virgil blushed slightly. "Yeah. We, uh, I sit next to him in history."

"Cool!" Patton smiled. "So, what'd'ya say?"

Virgil smiled back. "Sure. Uh, thanks, dude."

"No problem!"


	7. Chapter Seven

**Sunday 21st December - Five Years Ago**  
_18:09_

_It hadn't even been ten minutes and Virgil was already done with this party. The party that his dad has forced him to attend. A business party, Virgil was pretty sure. On the way there, Virgil had asked why he had to come, and his dad had told him that in the future he'd have to attend these events, so he wanted him to get some practise. That made sense, since Virgil was his only child and therefore it was probable that he'd take over the company when he was old enough. Not that he really wanted too._

_Virgil had found a seat in the far corner, away from everyone else. He wished that he had something, anything to keep him occupied - a book, some paper, even just something to fiddle with - but he didn't. Instead, he stared at the wall, memorised every detail, every pattern and every crack. The longer he sat, the more he realised that he couldn't do this. There was too many people, too much happening. Everything was so loud, too loud-_

_Somebody sat next to him. His eyes darted down to the ground and fixated on this one marble square._

_"What's so interesting about the floor?" the person asked._

_Virgil didn't reply._

_"Are you okay?"_

_From the voice, Virgil could guess that the newcomer was young, maybe his age, maybe a little older. Perhaps that was enough to trust him. But Virgil still didn't reply._

_"I'm Logan," he introduced. "Logan Thompson. My father is friends with your father, I think. You are Virgil, right?"_

_Virgil nodded and gave him a quick, forced smile, still refusing to make eye contact._

_"Not much of a talker, huh?" Logan guessed._

_Virgil tilted his head to the side and perked an eyebrow up, as if to say, 'I guess so'._

_"That's fine," Logan replied. "Honestly, I'm not really one for people either, but Father wants me to at least try to talk to someone. But we can just sit in silence as well, if you'd prefer. Or I could leave."_

_Virgil shook his head, a spurt of anxiety suddenly rushing through his veins._

_"You want me to stay?"_

_A nod._

_"And continue talking?"_

_Another nod._

_"But would you prefer to stay silent?"_

_Slight hesitation, but yet another nod._

_"Okay." Logan went on to talk about everything and nothing at the same time. It was all just empty sound, white noise to keep Virgil calm. It helped, it really did. And when Virgil finally managed to make himself look up at Logan, to see his smile as he ranted on and on, Virgil couldn't help but feel as though he was safe. As though he could trust Logan. As though they were already the best of friends._

_He managed to smile back._

**Friday 8th March 2019**  
_4:34_

"Virgil?" a voice said, snapping Virgil out of his daydream. "Are you okay?"

Virgil shot a smile over at Patton. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

Patton raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"I just..." He stopped himself, unsure as to whether he could tell Patton about it. He had only just met the guy, and the stuff he had been dealing with wasn't... great. Or, at least, it wasn't the stuff that a person could easily talk to a stranger about.

"Is it about your friend?" Patton guessed.

Virgil sighed. "Yeah, that."

"You don't have to say anything," Patton said. "I know it's probably hard for you. But!" He grinned. "We're here!"

The two stopped by a pathway, leading towards a red-bricked semi-detached house. Patton lead Virgil down towards the white door, as Virgil looked around at all the beautiful plants and stones scattered around the front garden. Once they reached the door, they immediately went inside and into the front room, where they found Patton's dad.

Something about Patton's dad struck Virgil as familiar, like he had seen the man before. A bright smile, hair dyed purple, enthusiastic glint in his eyes. Where had Virgil seen him before?

"Virgil!" the man exclaimed. "Fancy seeing you here!"

 _Oh_. Virgil knew who it was.

He forced a smile. "Hey, Mr Sanders."

Thankfully, Mr Sanders didn't seem to sense Virgil's confusion and discomfort. "I didn't know you were friends with Patton." Virgil caught Mr Sanders glancing at Patton as he spoke.

Patton smiled. "We both go to the crafts club," he explained, not mentioning that fact that they had only actually met that afternoon. "I thought I'd bring him 'round to meet everyone. Y'know, since he's new to the school and all."

How did Patton know that Virgil was new? He was pretty sure that he hadn't mentioned that to him before... Then again, considering who his dad was, maybe Patton already knew.

"That's so kind of you, Pat," Mr Sanders replied. "I think the others are all already upstairs. Dinner will be ready around six."

"Thanks, Dad," Patton said, giving him a small wave before dragging Virgil upstairs.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Virgil leaned over to Patton and said though gritted teeth, "You didn't tell me your dad is Mr Sanders."

Patton shrugged. "It didn't seem important. Why? Does he teach you?"

"He's my goddamn form tutor!" Virgil sighed. "And my science teacher," he added.

"Oh." Patton stopped in front of a white door, covered in pieces of artwork and cross-stitch patterns hung up with shiny pins. "Well, I promise that my dad won't hurt you! He's a super nice guy." Patton opened the door, and entered the room, with Virgil following closely behind.

Once inside the room, Virgil was confronted with three other people, only one of which he recognised.

"Virgil?" he said.

Virgil smirked. "Roman Prince."

Roman looked at Patton. "Since when do you know Virgil?"

Patton grinned. "We met at crafts club!"

Roman frowned. "So... what is he doing here?" he asked, leaning forward a little.

"He was in a bit of a pickle and needed somewhere to go, so I offered for him to come 'round here and hang for a bit," Patton explained.

"Not for long, of course," Virgil cut in. "I just need to stay a couple of hours before I can go home."

"And why's that?"

" _That_ ," Virgil said, putting hard emphasis on the 't', "is none of your concern, Princey."

Roman moved back. "Okay, okay, I get it."

Patton moved between the two and smiled at Virgil. "Anyway! I should probably introduce you guys. Talyn, Joan, this is Virgil. Virgil, this is Talyn and Joan." He paused, before quickly adding, "Oh, they both use they/them. Roman used he/him, although I guess you already know that."

Virgil glanced over at the other two people, with Talyn greeting him with a smile wave and Joan greeting him with a finger gun.

"So, uh, we up for a movie?" Patton suggested.

Cue a cheer from everyone sitting on the bed. Patton took a seat on the floor leaning against the bed, with Virgil doing the same thing. Soon enough, some Disney movie had been loaded up onto Patton's TV, and the whole room was silent as they watched intently. And for once in his life around all these new people, Virgil didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

He could get used to this.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Wednesday 20th March**  
_12:18_

It didn't take long to get used to. The next week at school, Virgil had found himself sitting with Patton and Roman and all their friends, all of which were way friendlier and less intimidating than Logan's friends. They welcomed him into their group without a second thought, and made sure that Virgil felt comfortable amongst them. He had finally found a group of people who he could fully trust.

However, in finding this new home for himself can, he also found himself avoiding who was previously his closest friend. An unopened, unread message from Logan still held onto his phone, the little bubble in the corner of the message app taunting him every time he unlocked his phone. He couldn't bring himself to read it, couldn't bring himself to face what Logan thought of him now, after he had straight-up abandoned him without any explanation. Every so often, a new message would appear, and Virgil would sink even deeper into his own personal void filled with guilt and anxiety that seemed to grow in his mind.

He even made sure that there was no possibility of bumping into Logan in the school. He would arrive early and hang out in form, take longer, complicated routes to all of his lessons, hide amongst Patton's friends outside during lunch and break, arrive late to any lessons that they had together and leave as early as possible, and then stay behind after school to avoid catching him by the gates. It was tiring and annoying, but if it meant that Virgil wouldn't have to face Logan, then so be it.

But of course, it was inevitable that eventually they'd end up speaking.

"Virgil!" a voice called.

It was a voice that Virgil recognised. His eyes stayed focused on the table. Everybody else's eyes stayed focused on him.

"Virgil?" the voice called again, less certain this time.

"Hey, Verge, I think someone's calling you," Joan said.

Virgil glared at them, causing them to look down. The rest of the table seemed to understand as well - Virgil did _not_ want to talk to this guy.

"Virgil."

The voice was behind him now. Everybody looked up at the newcomer, all except for Virgil. He held his breath.

"Virgil, please can I talk to you for a second," Logan requested. "In private, preferably."

"Whatever you have to say to him," Roman piped in, a hint of aggression in his voice, "you can say in front of all of us."

"Roman Prince." Logan hummed. "I really don't think that all of you being with him will be necessary. I only need him for a moment."

"What do you need him for?" Roman asked, through gritted teeth.

"That is really none of your business."

Virgil glanced up at Roman, noticing what seemed to be... rage in his eyes. Roman was ready to defend Virgil, to protect Virgil, to fight for Virgil. And Virgil didn't want to be in the middle of a fight between two people who he cared for. He stood up.

"Let's go somewhere else," he suggested. "I'll be back in a moment, guys."

Virgil began to walk away from the table, giving Roman a quick smile to let him know that he would be alright. For days he had been going over this conversation in his head, again and again, trying to think of something to say to Logan, anything that would help him to understand. And even though he hadn't quite decided what he would say yet, or gone through all the possible outcomes to any given situation that he could find himself in, he figured that delaying it any further would just bring more problems. As much as he hated the idea, he knew that he'd have to confront his problems soon enough.

The two stopped in the far corner of the school field, away from pretty much everybody. Virgil had thought that getting into an argument without an audience would be a million times more bearable than with an audience, at the very least. Of course, neither seemed ideal, and Virgil dearly hoped that it wouldn't go down to that, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Virgil took in a deep breath and faced Logan. "What is it?"

"I feel like you've been avoiding me this past week or so," Logan stated.

Virgil tried to look surprised. "What made you think that?" His shaky voice really wasn't helping his act.

"You haven't opened any of my messages, you seem to be going out of your way to make sure you don't talk to me at school, and you completely abandoned us on that Friday that we were supposed to be hanging out on." Logan frowned. "I just wanted to know why."

Virgil looked down to the floor. "Listen, Logan, I-" He stopped himself. How was he supposed to explain this? He couldn't just go straight in with _your friends scare me_ , because that could upset Logan and ruin their friendship, but he also couldn't bring himself to lie to Logan.

"Whatever it is, you know you can trust me, Virgil," Logan promised, his voice calm and clear. "I'm just worried about you. And I want to make sure that you're okay. That... _we're_ okay."

"We're fine," Virgil reassured him. "Seriously, this all has _nothing_ to do with you."

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" Logan asked.

Virgil took a deep breath. "It's just..." His closed his eyes, knowing that the only way to get out of this was to just tell Logan what happened. "That night when I was meant to be with you I kinda freaked out because your friends kinda scare me and I didn't wanna go so I ended up freaking out a lot and running away and then I didn't know how to explain it to you or tell you that I couldn't come so I just didn't but then you kept messaging me and I couldn't bring himself to read the messages and then I remembered that school was a thing and I didn't want to speak to you at school so I just ended up avoiding you not because I wanted to but because I kinda had to and now we're here and-"

"Virgil," Logan interrupted, "breath."

Virgil nodded and took in several deep breaths.

"Now," Logan said, beginning to lower himself onto the floor, "sit down and try to speak slower."

Virgil nodded again and joined him on the soft grass.

"You said that you freaked out?" Logan recalled.

"Yeah, I..." He breathed out. "The thought of having to hang around a bunch of people who I _really_ didn't feel comfortable around just made scared. And I... I..."

Logan took Virgil's hand. "I understand. So, did you just go home?"

"No. I wasn't in the right state to walk home alone, so I ended up staying in school. I went into a classroom to try and calm myself down, but found myself in some club, and this guy, Patton, helped me out. I ended up going to his place instead, and I've been hanging with him all week."

"Okay." Logan squeezed Virgil's hand tight. "That's okay. As long as... As long as you're not alone. But... I do have to wonder _why_ you're also now hanging out with _Roman_ of all people."

Virgil frowned. "Why? He's a pretty cool guy-"

"No he isn't," Logan countered. "You don't know him like I do."

"But I-"

"Trust me, you don't want to be around him." Logan sighed. "But... I can't stop you. And if you feel uncomfortable around my friends, I guess it's better for you to stay with Patton. But if Roman ever does _anything_ to you, I'm here, okay?"

Virgil didn't reply.

"I should get back inside," Logan decided, beginning to stand up, "but remember that I'm only a text away."

Virgil nodded and waved as he left. But for a minute of two, he just sat in the field, wondering was Logan could have possibly meant. Roman wasn't bad, was he? Unless he and Logan had some sort of history...

Maybe that was something that Virgil didn't need to worry about. Trying to shake the uneasiness away, Virgil stood up and made his way back to the table, where he sat down in silence and said nothing of the event that had just occurred.


	9. Chapter Nine

_13:01_

"What happened with Logan?" Roman asked, as the two took their seats at the back of the classroom. "Whatever he said to you, just know that I am prepared to fight him. Both physically and verbally. Or just, glare at him angrily, if that's more your style."

Virgil sighed. "Princey, you don't need to do anything. There's nothing going on."

"Don't lie to me, Virgil," Roman said.

"I'm not lying."

"Then tell me what he said."

Virgil stayed silent.

 **Thursday 21st March**  
_6:56_

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
u need me to fight anyone get

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
*yet

 **onthevergeoftears**  
why is everyone offering to fight people for me

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
bc ur weak

 **onthevergeoftears**  
um. rude.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
also how do you know i'm weak. i could be a karate champion for all you know.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
ur not tho

 **onthevergeoftears**  
yeah you're right

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
but anyway what do u mean over people want to fight for u

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
i thought that was my job

 **onthevergeoftears**  
it's nobody's job

 **onthevergeoftears**  
nobody needs to fight anybody

 **onthevergeoftears**  
people are just,,, exhausting sometimes.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
i feel that

_15:06_

A hand landed on Virgil's shoulder. His body stiffened up. For a moment, his heart stopped beating, before the beating sped up and grew louder until it was all he could hear.

But then the weight on his shoulder lifted, and Virgil allowed himself to breathe. It was probably fine, right? Nobody was going to hurt him. Nobody at this school knew him well enough to _want_ to hurt him. He had made sure to keep his distance from everyone else. If he kept his distance, then he knew that it wouldn't be like last time, or the time before that, or the time before that.

Then again, there was one person who it could have been. One person who already _had_ hurt him, or tried to. And if it was him...

No, it wouldn't be him. The hand had been a lot softer. Not aggressive, just... worried, or something. This person wanted to tell Virgil something, that was all. Maybe help him out in some way. What he needed help with, Virgil didn't know, but he was fairly certain that he could trust this person, whoever it was.

"Virgil?" a voice said.

Virgil turned around, coming face to face with Roman. It was just Roman. He gave him a weak smile. "Hey Roman."

"Sorry, did I scare you just then?" Roman wondered, frowning a little.

Virgil let out a nervous laugh. "No. Of course not. Why would you have scared me?"

Somebody shoved past Virgil, causing him to stumbled to the side a little. He realised that tons of people were surrounding him, closing in on him, running over him, a million footsteps clouding up his mind, the noise so loud-

"Maybe we should talk someplace else," Roman suggested. "You know, where we're not standing in the middle of an exit."

Virgil quickly nodded and grabbed Roman's wrist, dragging him back through the school gates and around a corner, glancing from side to side to make sure that nobody was around. It seemed to be clear.

"Anyway," Roman said, once Virgil had let go of him, "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Virgil frowned. "Why would I not be okay?"

"I don't know." Roman sighed. "You've just been... distant. Like, ever since you had that chat with Logan yesterday-"

"Oh my God," Virgil interrupted, "please don't say this is all about Logan."

"It's not!" Roman reassured him. "Honestly, the entire time that you've been with us all you've been a bit distance, it just seems to be more... prevalent, now."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Look, 'distant' is just what I'm like, okay? I always have been. And what happened with Logan is still none of your business."

"It is, though," Roman argued. "Logan and I have... well, we know each other fairly well, I think. And I know that whatever he said could have _crushed_ you, and-"

"What kind of a guy do you think Logan _is_?" Virgil said, almost shouting.

"Well, in my experience, annoying, uptight, obnoxious, thinks-he's-better-than-everyone-else," Roman listed, "and many more terrible things."

Virgil just stared in stunned silence.

"What?"

"You really don't know Logan at all, do you?"

Roman sucked in a deep breath. "What, and you do?"

Virgil continued to stare for a moment, before sighing and falling down to the ground, where he sat down on the cold concrete and leant against the brick wall. After another moment of silence, Roman joined.

"Logan and I have been friends for years," Virgil began, "probably much longer than you've known him, honestly. Our families are closely connected, so we always tended to hang around at events and stuff. The first time must have been five or so years ago, maybe six, I can't remember exactly. It was the first event that my dad had forced me to go to and I _hated_ it. All the people just made me panic, and..."

Roman moved closer. "It's okay, Virgil. You don't have to tell me anything."

Virgil shot a glare at him. "I want to, though. You deserve to at least have an idea of where I'm coming from with this whole Logan thing."

Roman nodded. "Okay, okay, but really, don't feel as if you have to tell me anything that would make you uncomfortable."

"Right." Virgil bit his lip. "Well, at this event, Logan found me and just kinda... sat there. Talking about stuff, nothing in particular. His voice was calming, and, well... I didn't speak to him much, but he was _there_ for me, y'know? And I appreciated that more than anything. And at every following event, we just kinda gravitated towards each other. It was nice. And then when I found out that I would be moving to the same school as him..." Virgil smiled. "I was just so excited and _relieved_ that I knew I'd have someone there for me."

Roman hummed. "So... what happened?"

"When I got here, it wasn't quite what I expected," Virgil admitted. "Logan had his own friends, one of which seemed to completely hate me for some reason, and... I guess I panicked, again. The one guy that I knew I could trust just wasn't there. So when he invited me out to hang with his friends, I couldn't bring myself to go, which is when I met Patton."

"So, when you were talking to Logan yesterday, were you just-"

"Yeah. He only wanted to know what had happened. Why I had stopped hanging out with him. So I told him the truth and he seemed perfectly fine with it." Virgil paused, before adding, "Oh, apart from with you. He seems to hate you for some reason. And I guess that you feel the same about him."

Roman groaned. "Ugh. Yeah. I just _don't_ know what that guy's problem is!" He tapped his finger on the ground. "Actually, come with me." He stood up.

Virgil looked up at him. "Why?"

"I'm gonna show you exactly what I mean," Roman said, to which Virgil just frowned at. "We have debate club together," he explained. "He's probably waiting for me now. It's, uh, our turn, this week. You can sit in the back and watch."

Virgil hesitated, but stood up anyway. "Alright. I guess seeing it for myself won't hurt."

_15:34_

"Roman, finally!" the teacher exclaimed, as the two stepped into the classroom. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry, Dr Picani," Roman said, taking a seat at the front. Virgil quickly joined him at the seat just by his side. "My friend and I lost track of time."

"Friend?" the teacher - Dr Picani, Virgil guessed - repeated, his face lighting up. "Do we have a new member?"

Virgil shook his head. "No. I, uh, just came to watch."

A look of disappointed flashed across Dr Picani's face, but he soon regained a bright smile. "That's okay! Maybe we can convince you, uh..."

"Virgil."

"Virgil!"

"Virgil?"

Another pair of eyes set on him. Virgil looked over to the source of the voice, only to find him - Logan. He gave his friend a weak smile. "Hey, Logan."

"I didn't know you were interested in debates," Logan said.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "What about all those times we've argued about space and stuff?"

Logan considered that for a moment. "Valid point."

"Well," Dr Picani interrupted, "let's get on with today's debate! Roman, Logan, you're up!"

The two made their way over to stand in front of the board, whilst Virgil leant back in his chair, watching each one intently. On the board, the words 'Today's Debat(tl)e: Can Rap Be Considered Poetry?' were written, along with the names of the members of the debate club written around the outside, all in different coloured chalk. In the corner of the board there was a small bit boxed off, with Roman and Logan's names written at the top of tally marks underneath. Virgil wondered what that possibly could have been for.

"Roman," Dr Picani began, "since you choose this topic, you maybe begin."

Roman smiled, but kept his eyes locked on Logan. "Thank you, Picani. So, today's debate will centre around one of my favourite topics - poetry. Or, more precisely, that I believe rap to now be the modern version of poetry."

Logan rolled his eyes, but stayed silent, clearly appreciating the rules set in place.

"Now, Logan, I understand that you might disagree with this, but let me explain." Roman cleared his throat. "For years, poetry has been an important part of culture here on Earth. We use it to express our feelings in a way that works for us. But lately, it seems as if poetry is dying out - which, of course, could not be further from the truth. What we've found, as human beings, is that the original form of poetry has changed. Now, a lot of people instead use the form of rap.

"Rap, at it's very basics, is choosing the right words in the right order and using the right rhythm to get across a feeling or idea or to send a message or moral out there to everyone. The very same could be said about poetry - it is putting the best words in the best order to help explain an emotion. In modern ages, it seems like this old method truly has died - who is really interested in poetry now?

"But, the thing is, a lot of people are, but they just don't realise it. Rap had taken everything that makes poetry great - rhyme, rhythm, thoughts, emotions - and made it more accessible to everyone else. Nobody wants to read some boring old sonnet or whatever they read in the olden days, but rap? That's something they _can_ listen to, something they can _dance_ to and _enjoy_ , and the writer _still_ gets to use it as a way to get their emotions out.

"Isn't that wonderful?" Roman smirked at Logan. "That we can all appreciate this new poetry. That it's _so easy_ to get into it. Logan, what are your thoughts on that?"

Logan sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. "You make an excellent point, Mr Prince, but I'm afraid you're not quite right. Poetry, at it's finest, is the best words in the best order, just like you said, but it can't be that simple. Rap is something entirely different, something that doesn't appreciate what makes everything so great about poetry. Poetry is meant to be _personal_. It's meant to allow a person to let out all their thoughts and feelings onto a page without being afraid of what people may think.

"That can not be said about rap. Rap is an industry. People who make rap _have_ to think about their audience, their aims, what the public may think. They can't just sit down and let everything out. Writing rap just doesn't have the same effect of writing poetry.

"Besides, poetry is a fine art. It is something that has been perfected over the ages. Sure, it's always changing, but there's one thing that remains the same - poetry is for the poet, not the readers. Rap is for the audience, not the rapper. To be a great poet, you must have an understanding of human nature, of the entire world around you. To be a great rapper, all you have to do it be able to talk fast."

Roman glared at Logan. "You really think rap is that easy?"

Logan shrugged. "I understand that people may spend a long time working on it, but really, it all sounds the same to me. Just people talking fast. The lyrics always seem less important than the rhythm. In poetry, it's the words that matter the most."

"Are you really so sure on that?" Roman asked, a glare still fixed on Logan. "Have you even considered what the audience _do_ think, why rap is so important to so many people-"

"Of course I have," Logan stated. "You really think I don't do my research? The reason why rap is so prevalent right now is because it's trendy. One person likes it, and suddenly everyone else likes it. People don't care about what is being said. They just want to fit in."

Roman laughed. "Is that _seriously_ what you think?"

Logan blinked. "Yes?"

"So you think that people just listen to rap because it's _popular_?"

"That was the point that I made, yes."

"But what about all these raps that focus around the struggles of fitting in and being oppressed and just _living_?" Roman suggested. "Do you not think that that might mean something to someone?"

"Is that really what poetry should be about?" Logan countered. "Meaning something to the reader?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"No, poetry is about letting out one's feelings in a way that makes sense for them-"

"And rap isn't?"

"Okay, guys, calm down," Dr Picani interrupted. "I think that's enough for today."

Logan took in a deep breath. "Yes, I suppose so. But who won?"

Dr Picani hummed. "How about we ask the newcomer? Virgil?"

Virgil glanced over at Picani. "Yeah?"

"Who convinced you more - Roman or Logan?"

Virgil considered that for a moment. "Well... you both made some excellent points..." Anxiety began to creep it's way up into Virgil's body. An uninvited and unwelcome guest. His thoughts all screamed at him. He didn't want to upset either of his friends. He didn't want to say something wrong and end up losing one of them.

"Yeah, but who won?" Roman pushed.

Virgil bit his lip. "Uh, well, um- I think I'll have to side with... with Roman."

Logan looked at him, confused. "What?"

"Seriously, you both made excellent points," Virgil reassured them, "but Roman's argument resonated more with me. I get that rap means a lot to some people - including you, Logan. Remember the rainforest rap?"

Logan's eyes widened. "I... I never even considered that. But that isn't really poetry, is it?"

"Maybe not, but I know that it resonated with you, that it meant a lot to you, just like poetry also does." Virgil smiled. "So I'm sorry Logan, but Roman's won here."

Roman smirked. "Yes! Another point to me!" He grabbed a piece of white chalk and added a tally mark underneath his name, so there were now five marks under each name. So that's what that was for. 

"You won't win next time, Prince," Logan said, his eyes still locked on Virgil. "I'll make sure of that."


	10. Chapter Ten

_17:32_

**17:02 logic:** _Are we still friends?_

Virgil had been staring at that message since he arrived home. After the debate, Logan had rushed out of the classroom, definitely on purpose. He clearly hadn't wanted to speak to Virgil, for one reason or another. But thinking that they weren't friends? What was _up_ with him? Why would he have ever thought that?

Another message came through.

 **17:33 logic:** _Please call me, Virgil._

Virgil held his breath. Phone calls were his worst nightmare - surely Logan knew that. Without thinking, he quickly typed out a response.

 **17:33 Me:** _can we meet up?_

He immediately regretted pressing 'send'. Meet up? _Really_ , Virgil? Would it be _so_ difficult to just say 'yes' to his question, or to just _call_ him, like he asked? God, he really was _useless_.

The phone started ringing. A picture of the two of them flashed onto the screen. Logan's arm was wrapped around Virgil's shoulder, and he was... smiling. A bright, happy smile. And Virgil was smiling too - more subdued, but still happy, content to be there with his friend. Logan was wearing one of Virgil's shirts - a Nirvana one - along with a blue plaid shirt and that beanie that Virgil had brought him. One that he must have brought just before this picture was taken, probably less than a year ago. Afterwards, Virgil had decided to just give that shirt to Logan - whenever Logan has to stay at Virgil's place when their father's were meeting, he _always_ stole that t-shirt, so Virgil figured that he might as well just keep it.

Logan always seemed so happy to be around him. But Virgil hadn't seen that smile since he moved here.

The phone stopped ringing. It was too late.

Virgil quickly typed out another message.

 **17:35 Me:** _please_

Dead silence. Three dots appeared in the corner of Virgil's phone screen. The wait killed him. How long did it take to type something? The walls began to close in on him, and his chest became tighter and tighter, and-

_Ding!_

A reply.

 **17:36 logic:** _Alright. There's a hill on the outskirts of town, just down the road from your house. I'll send you directions in a moment. I'll be there in fifteen minutes._

Virgil let out a sigh of relief. A moment later, an image of a map with a route showing came through into his phone, and Virgil stood up, grabbed his hoodie, and made his way out of the house and into the unknown.

_18:01_

Virgil sat down at the base of a pole on top of the hill overlooking the entire town. He could see everything from there - his house, Logan's house, Patton's house, the school. The pole was connected to a power-line, with the wires running down towards the houses in the distance. Just beyond the town, fields spread for miles and miles. The sun was slowly making it's way down towards the Earth, spreading an array of colour across the sky.

Logan came running up the hill. He came to halt, huffing and puffing as if he'd just ran a marathon. Virgil watched him as he sat down.

"You're late," Virgil said.

"You think I don't know that?" Logan retorted, before sighing. "Sorry. I didn't expect to take so long getting down here."

"It's all good," Virgil reassured him. "I'm not mad at you or anything."

"Good." Logan looked at him. "So, uh, we're good? We're still-"

"Yes, Logan, we're still friends," Virgil finally said, knowing that he _should_ have said that half an hour ago. "And I'm sorry about the past couple weeks. I just..."

"I get it," Logan cut in. He paused, before adding, "I think, at least. I don't know, I've never really understood... y'know..."

"Emotions, yeah, I know." Virgil smiled. "But that's fine. I probably should have communicated better. I honestly never wanted you to feel as if I didn't like you anymore. You were my _only_ true friend the entire time we've known each other. Before that, I... I don't even think I _did_ have a friend."

"Likewise," Logan responded.

Virgil frowned. "I thought you-"

"I hang out with people at school, but none of them are proper friends. At least, not like you are to me." Logan leant back on his hands and stared up at the sky.

The sun had disappeared from the horizon. The sky had begun to slowly turn darker, a navy blue sheet creeping down to scare away the sun. As he stared and sat in comfortable silence, he thought back to two weeks ago, when Dee had confronted him about Logan. He glanced over at Logan, trying to figure out what was going on inside that brain of his. Usually Virgil was able to read Logan - they had grown so close over the years that they just seemed to _understand_ each other - but in that moment Logan seemed like a complete stranger.

"What about Dee?" Virgil asked.

Logan's head snapped towards him. "Dee?" he repeated.

"Yeah, Dee."

Logan frowned. "I don't know why you'd bring him up now."

Virgil shrugged. "Well, you mentioned that none of the people you hung out with were 'proper' friends, but..." He drifted off, unsure as to how to put the next bit. He really didn't want to tell Logan what had actually happened between him and Dee. But without that information, Virgil had nothing on him.

"I know Dee can come across a little mean at first," Logan began to explain, "but I promise he's not a bad person."

"Are you sure?"

Logan stared blankly at Virgil for a moment. "Yes, I'm sure. I think I've known him long enough to know what he's like. And out of all of my school friends, he's probably the one that I'm closest to." He breathed in. "Of course, not as close as you."

Virgil nodded. "Okay. Yeah, I... Okay."

"Did he..." Logan shuffled towards Virgil. "Did he say anything? Or do anything? To you?"

"It doesn't matter," Virgil said, almost too quickly. "I-It was nothing."

"Alright," Logan said, a hint of skepticism in his voice. "But, uh, on the subject of friends - what's with you and Roman?"

Great. Another topic that Virgil had been dreading.

Logan must have sensed Virgil's discomfort. "You know, we've been friends for such a long time. I seriously doubt that anything you could say right now could harm our relationship."

Virgil laughed. "You'd be surprised."

"Virgil-"

"I'm joking," he interrupted, shooting a smile at Logan. "Nothings really happening with me and Roman. We're just friends."

"I still don't understand how you could be friends with that imbecile."

"Hey!" Virgil shook his head, faking annoyance. "What did Roman do to deserve that title?"

Logan shrugged. "Everything."

Virgil tried to hold back a laugh, but instead just snorted. "I mean, you're not wrong there, actually." He sighed. "But honestly, nothing has happened. We're _just_ friends."

There was silence for a moment, before Logan frowned, and said, "Wait, you don't... like him, do you?"

"What?"

"I mean... you keep saying that nothing has happened." Logan hummed. "It just... seems a little odd. And... And you were with him just before the debate, weren't you?" He locked eyes with Virgil. "You have a crush on Roman, don't you?"

A blush crept onto Virgil's cheeks. A very unwelcome blush. One that only seemed to make everything worse.

"No!" Logan exclaimed, jumping up to his feet.

Virgil looked up at Logan, his heart rate rising. "I- I-"

"There is no way you have a crush on Roman," Logan murmured, holding his head. "He- You can't-"

"Logan, I-"

"No, Virgil, don't try to explain yourself." His voice was sharp. Final. "I... I have to go."

Virgil watched helplessly as Logan returned down into the town, leaving him all alone under the stars. And all Virgil could do was watch, as a tear fell down his cheek. He had just _lost_ his best friend, and all he could do was _watch_.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this post contains a description of a panic attack, fighting, and blood mention, and injury mentions. 
> 
> (Don’t worry it’s nothing too serious)

**Friday 22nd March**  
_8:47_

Virgil couldn't shake off the feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

After the events of last night, all he could think about was _Logan_. Logan, Logan, Logan. Part of him still believed that maybe, just _maybe_ , they were still alright. It wasn't as if they had had a _proper_ argument, if they could even call it an argument. It was just a disagreement. Logan wasn't angry at him, not really. He was just... disappointed. Upset.

Virgil couldn't tell which one would be worse. At least if Logan had been angry he'd have had an excuse as to why he stayed on that hill for another hour, crying his eyes out and trying to get his heart under control. But it had all just been a simple misunderstanding, so Virgil could've easily gotten over it, explained the situation to Logan. But he couldn't. All he could do was _watch_.

The bell rang, signalling the end of form. Virgil stood up and reached for his bag, slinging it around his shoulder as he began to walk out the classroom. He halted when he heard his name called.

"Virgil, mind if I talk to you for a second?" Mr Sanders requested.

Although every bone in his body screamed at him to ignore Mr Sanders and continue walking out, he slowly turned on his heel and approached the teachers desk. He gave Mr Sanders a forced smile.

"I noticed you seemed a little... off." Mr Sanders gave him a small, sympathetic smile. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Virgil said, definitely too quickly and nowhere near convincing.

"Why is it that I find it difficult to believe you?"

Virgil sighed. "Honestly, I'm fine," he lied. "Just going through some stuff. Nothing to worry about."

"You can talk to me, Virgil," Mr Sanders promised, speaking in a soft voice. Soft and calm. Similar to how Patton had spoke to him the day they met. Perhaps that was where he got it from. "Is it a personal problem? A problem at home?"

"No!" Virgil interrupted. "God, no. Home's fine. Trust me, it's stupid-"

"No feelings are stupid feelings," Mr Sanders told him, "but if you don't want to tell me, you... don't have too. Just know that I'm here, okay?"

Virgil nodded. "Okay, got it."

Mr Sanders nodded back and gave him one last, perfectly _real_ smile. "Let your teacher know that I kept you behind if you're late. I'm sure they'll understand."

"Got it," Virgil repeated, already beginning to make his quick exit. "I'll see you later, Sir."

"Goodbye, Virgil."

_11:13_

Virgil's eyes were fixed on the desk in the science lab. He felt as if everyone was watching him. As if everyone knew exactly what was going on in his mind. Periods one and two had been just bearable, since neither Roman nor Logan had been in those classes, but now? Both of them were in his science class. Patton as well. And Virgil was finding in increasingly difficult to breathe.

"You alright, Verge?" Patton asked.

Virgil didn't reply.

Patton seemed to understand. "Do you need a moment outside?" they suggested.

Before he got chance to send even the slightest signal to Patton, Mr Sanders clapped his hands together. The bang echoed through the room, or maybe just through Virgil's head. And his voice hammered into his brain, getting louder and louder and less clear with every syllable. And then the whole class got up from their seats and started moving around, shadows growing in the wall, footsteps shoving his skull.

But then someone had grabbed his arm, and a moment later he was sat in the hallway, his face in his knees. And a soft and calm voice spoke to him, telling him to _breath_. In for four.

"One, two, three, four."

Hold for seven.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven."

Out for eight.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight."

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Four, seven, eight. In, out, in, out.

And then another voice. Deeper, but still calm. He counted too.

Eventually, Virgil could look up. Patton and Roman knelt down on either side of him, both gently touching his arm. Virgil sank into his hoodie as he realised what had happened. The teacher would be out any moment now, wanting to see what was up, shouting at him, making everything worse, just as it had been be-

"You're okay," Roman said. "You're fine. You're safe."

Virgil believed him.

"Are you... okay to speak?" Patton asked.

Virgil closed his eyes. "Yeah," he managed to get out, cringing at his hoarse voice.

"Good." Virgil opened his eyes again. "Now, do you think you can explain what happened?"

Virgil stared at Patton. "I... don't know."

"You don't know?" Roman repeated.

"I mean, yeah, I am able to explain, but..."

"It isn't that simple?" Patton guessed.

Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah. Exactly."

"Is it anything to do with Logan?" Roman wondered.

And just like that, Virgil tensed up again. "What would make you think that?"

"He's been staring at me weirdly all day," Roman stated. "More so than usual, I mean. And he also seemed pretty distressed when you went out the room."

Virgil looked down, an unwanted tear falling down his cheek. "I don't see why. He made himself pretty clear last night." And then another tear. And another. And another.

Patton wrapped their arms around Virgil, pulling him closer and running their fingers through his hair to soothe him, to calm him. Virgil leant closer to them, resting his head on their chest. Virgil listened to Patton breathing and tried his best to replicate it. Tears still fell, but at least he wasn't as panicky as before.

The door swung upon. Virgil's head shot up. He moved away from Patton and stood up. The other two joined him. "Logan?"

"Virgil," Logan said, his voice filled with concern, "why are you- what did-" His eyes drifted over to Roman, his eyes now filled with anger. "What did you _do_ to him?"

Roman held his hands up in defence. "Nothing! I did nothing!"

"Then _why_ is my best friend _crying_?" Logan spat, clenching his fists.

Patton stepped forward. "Logan, I-"

"Stay out of this, Patton," Logan interrupted, still glaring at Roman.

"But-"

Virgil tugged Patton's arm, pulling them back. They stopped speaking.

"I still don't understand why you're so angry," Roman stated, clearly trying his best to remain calm.

"You've _clearly_ done something to upset him!" Logan cried. "Why else would he be crying?"

"Look, it's not my fault that you've been a bad friend these past couple weeks-"

"What?"

Roman's voice broke. A deafening silence filled the hall. The only thing that could be heard was Logan's footsteps moving closer and closer to Roman.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

Roman gulped. "I, uh..." He straightened his posture. "I said that you've been a bad-"

He never got to finished that sentence. Logan threw a punch at him, and the next moment Roman was on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. He breathed heavily, glaring at Logan. Slowly, he stood up. Logan stared at his own hand, almost looking... guilty. He must have regretted hurting Roman, Virgil was sure of it.

But maybe Roman wasn't so sure. He launched himself at Logan, knocking the two of them to the floor. Roman pinned Logan down, gripping his wrists tightly.

Virgil glanced at Patton, who immediately understood his message and nodded. They both surged forward, Patton grabbing Roman and Virgil grabbing Logan, in attempts to get them away from each other. It took some work and a lot of protests, but eventually they had managed to tear them apart.

That was when the door opened and Mr Sanders saw what was happened. Virgil and Patton looked at him, but Logan and Roman could not look away from each other.

"You four," Mr Sanders said in a stern voice. "My office. Now."


	12. Chapter Twelve

_11:58_

Virgil tapped his finger on the side of his chair. After leaving them in his office, Mr Sanders had returned to his classroom to resume the lesson, with the promised that he'd return at the end of the period. The four sat in an uncomfortable silence, neither knowing what to say or how to make anything better. Virgil and Patton had placed themselves between the other two, with Logan next to Virgil and Roman next to Patton. Both of them had been injured, Roman more noticeably, whilst Virgil and Patton had mostly made it out unharmed, apart from any emotional trauma that would remain.

One minute left until class would be over. Mr Sanders had sounded so strange before. Not at all like he usually did. Virgil hadn't heard that stern voice before. Except, he hadn't really sounded angry. Just... disappointed. Which, of course, was always worse.

Class was over. Mr Sanders still wasn't there.

"Well, it's lunch now, so-"

Patton placed a hand on Roman's arm. "Roman, no. Just stay."

Roman let out a heavy sigh. "I don't see why we have to stay here. It's not as if anything serious-"

"Logan punched you in the face," Patton reminded him.

"Well, then it should just be him here," Roman argued.

"You attacked him as well," they countered.

"Well, yeah, but he attacked me fir-"

"Can you guys stop talking about me as if I'm not in the room?" Logan requested, his voice sharp.

Roman groaned. "This whole thing was _your_ fault!"

"Look, I'm not proud of what I did, and-"

"Not _proud_?" Roman repeated, leaning forward and glaring at Logan. "Is that _all_ you have to say?"

"What I was _about_ to say, was-"

"Can we _please_ stop fighting?" Virgil chimed in, causing the room to fall into another silence. He took a deep breath. "It is _both_ of your faults. There was no reason for any of that. If you had just _listened_ -"

The door swung open, but it wasn't Mr Sanders that came in. Virgil's eyes followed the unknown teacher as she stepped towards Mr Sanders' desk and sat down on Mr Sanders' seat. Just like that, all of Virgil's anxiety came back. Why wasn't Mr Sanders here?

"I know you four were expecting Mr Sanders, but I'm afraid he had other issues to deal with," the teacher explained. "I'm Mrs Smith. I don't believe I've taught any of you before."

Nobody replied.

She cleared her throat. "Anyway, could somebody please explain what happened?"

"This _asshole_ -"

"Language, Roman."

He sighed. "Sorry, Mrs Smith. I-"

"Patton," Mrs Smith interrupted, "why don't you-" She paused, looking them up and down. "Do they really still allow you to wear those skirts of yours?"

Patton plastered on a smile. "As I've said before, there is nothing in the dress code that prohibits male students from wearing skirts, and my dad is completely fine with it."

"Your dad, of course." Mrs Smith sighed. "Mr Sanders would be like that. But anyway, can you please explain what happened?"

"Well," Patton began, "Roman and I had taken Virgil out of the classroom as he was..." They glanced over at Virgil, who quickly sent them a plea to not tell her exactly what happened. A look of fear in his eyes. "He wasn't feeling great. And Mr Sanders was fine with us going out, by the way. Roman checked."

"Yes, I'm already aware of all of that," Mrs Smith stated. "Mr Sanders did give me a briefing, you know."

"Right, of course. Well, we'd been out there for a while already, just trying to calm Virgil down," they continued, "and then Logan came out as well. And I think he must have just overreacted to everything. He started arguing with Roman and _both_ of them said some... things. One thing led to another, and-"

"He attacked me," Roman interrupted. "Logan attacked me."

Mrs Smith looked over at Logan. "Why did you attack him?"

"He called me a bad friend," Logan stated.

Mrs Smith frowned. "And that made you angry because...?"

"Because he doesn't even know the situation." Logan took a deep breath. "It wasn't that I was being a bad friend to him. I haven't even been a bad friend. Just because Virgil and I had a couple disagreements-"

"Virgil?" Mrs Smith repeated, her gaze drifting over to Virgil. "Virgil, would you mind explaining why Roman was under the impression that Logan was a 'bad friend'?"

Virgil shifted in his seat. "Well, uh, he..." He closed his eyes. "I don't..." He looked over at Logan.

"It's okay, Virgil," Logan said, "you can tell me." But it was still sharp, like it was cutting through his heart.

He took another deep breath. "It isn't Logan's fault," he began with. "I-I mean, I, uh, I guess he's partly to blame, but... I've haven't been the best either."

Mrs Smith leant over the desk. "Can you tell me what he did?"

"He... Honestly, none of it is his fault-"

"Yes, we've been over this, just tell me."

"Last night, we... talked. And it didn't go well. When I tried to explain the situation from my point of view, Logan just got... angry, I guess. And left."

Logan places his hand on top of Virgil's. Virgil jerked his hand away. He refused to look him in the eye.

"I've just been on edge all day, that's all," Virgil said. "But really, it's partly my fault, if I had just-"

"Virgil, you've done nothing," Logan interrupted. The sharpness in his voice had left, to be replaced with that usual soft voice, kind and calming. Virgil realised that a tear had fallen down his cheek. He let Logan hold his hand. A silence fell upon the room.

Until the door slammed open and Mr Sanders stepped in.

"I'm incredibly sorry about that," he said. "Mrs Smith, I can take it from-" He paused, staring at Virgil. "Are you okay?"

Mrs Smith stood up before Virgil could say anything. "Well, I'll leave you to it, Thomas." She walked out the door, patting Mr Sanders' shoulder on the way out. "Good luck."

The time that it took for Mr Sanders to sit down felt like a million years. Virgil let go of Logan's hand and shoved his own hands in his pockets, sinking deeper into the seat and trying to stop his tears from falling. This wasn't him. He didn't cry. Especially not in front of adults. Alone, maybe, but not in front of anyone who might try to help. He didn't need help. He was _fine_.

"Did Mrs Smith scare you?" Mr Sanders asked Virgil.

Virgil just glared at him. "No. Of course not."

"Alright. If you say so." He sounded exhausted. "But Virgil, I must remind you that this very morning-"

"I know, I remember what you said," Virgil chimed in. "It just wasn't that simple. I... I didn't think it would go this far."

Mr Sanders nodded. "Okay. I get it. But also... Patton?"

Patton's heard perked up. Virgil felt a twinge of sadness upon seeing the frown upon their face. They must have felt _terrible_ , being confronted by their father like this. Especially when, out of the four of them, they held the least blame. None, in fact. Patton had done _nothing_ wrong.

"Son, I honestly didn't think that you would-"

"He didn't do anything," Logan interrupted.

Mr Sanders looked over to him.

Logan cleared his throat. "I mean, well, Patton's intention were entirely pure. He didn't lay a hand on anyone. In fact, he was the one who tried to _stop_ the whole thing. Whatever you do, don't punish him."

Me Sanders closed his eyes. "Logan as well. God, this is really the least likely group of people I'd expect to get involved in something like this." He glanced over at Roman. "You too, Roman. I know that you and Logan have this rivalry or whatever, but I never thought it'd be this bad."

Roman bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"Me too," Logan joined him. "The deepest apologies to you."

"It's a little late for that, guys." Mr Sanders sighed. He brought his elbow up to the table and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, as much as I hate to do this, I can't let any of you get away without any form of punishment. Not my choice, of course. If it were up to me, I'd let you all out free right now, but the headmaster wouldn't allow that."

Nobody spoke for a while. Nobody really knew _what_ to say.

"Just come to my classroom after school," Mr Sanders ordered.

Patton raised their hand.

"Yes, Patton?"

"Virgil and I have crafts club tonight."

"You can go to crafts club after you meet me in my classroom."

Patton nodded. "Okay, Dad."

Mr Sanders smiled and looked each one in the eye. Something inside of Virgil told him that the smile wasn't genuine, it couldn't be genuine, Mr Sanders was just mocking him and he could no longer trust the  _one_ teacher he actually believed he could. Maybe that was just the anxiety talking, though. 

"You're all free to go."

_15:07_

Virgil paced up and down the hallway, holding his phone close to his ear. That consistent beeping was driving him mad. How long did it take for someone to pick up their phone? Virgil _knew_ that his dad had his phone on him at all times, and as far as he knew he didn't have a meeting at that time.

Mr Sanders would be wondering where he was. The others would be wondering where he was. He was pretty sure that he saw Patton and Roman entering the classroom five or so minutes ago, and knowing Logan he probably would have arrived seconds after the final bell.

But before Virgil joined them, he needed to talk to his dad. Of course, that could only happened if his dad actually _picked up_.

The ringing stopped. "Hello?"

Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "Hey, Dad."

"What is it?" his dad asked.

"I, uh, I just wanted to know what time you're getting home tonight," Virgil told him. That was almost the truth.

"I thought you were going round to Logan's tonight?"

Virgil winced. He hadn't been to Logan's house the entire time that he'd lived here. 'Logan's house' was just what Virgil told his dad when he was hanging at Patton's.

"Oh, yeah, uh, of course, I just..."

"Are you alright sleeping over there?" his dad questioned.

Virgil bit his lip. "Yeah, sure," he lied. "Why, are you busy or something?"

"Things are pretty hectic here at work," his dad quickly explained. "I can tell you more tomorrow. Just... hang on for tonight, okay? Message me if you need anything."

Virgil paused for a moment, staring down the hallway. "Yeah, sure."

"I've got to go. Bye, son."

"Bye, Da-"

He hung up. Virgil stared at his phone for a moment, before taking a deep breath and walking just down the hallway and into Mr Sanders' room.

"Virgil, finally, we've been waiting for you!" Patton exclaimed as he stepped inside.

Virgil glanced around the room, noticing that Patton and Roman had took a seat in the middle of the room, and Logan alone at the back, but no... "Mr Sanders... Is he not here yet?"

Logan shrugged. "Apparently not." He stood up and approached Virgil. "He's probably busy, anyway."

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"Anyway, what took you so long getting here?" Logan asked.

"I just had to make a call," Virgil quickly said, not wanting to explain any further. He sat down at the front of the classroom. "Let's just hope Mr Sanders gets here soon."

Just on cue, the door swung upon and in stepped Mr Sanders. He made his way over to the desk at the front and hoisted himself up so he was sitting on top. He looked around the classroom, letting out a sigh.

"Look, guys, I honestly don't want to punish you," he began with, "but the headmaster demands that I do something."

"Why?" Roman asked, his voice louder and clearer than the teacher's. "You said that you don't want to. Why should you?"

"I'm being serious here, Roman," Mr Sanders snapped. "My job could be on the line right now. And your scholarship."

That shut Roman up pretty quickly.

"Look, it's either I just put you in detention for a while, or..." He drifted off.

There was silence for a moment. A while, actually. Or _what_? The suspense almost killed Virgil. Maybe it _did_ kill him, and now he was in the afterlife. That honestly wouldn't have been so bad.

"Or, well, there's a project happening for science," he suggested. "If I get you guys to do that, then maybe we can let the detentions slide. Especially since we _really_ need people to do it, and nobody else has signed up."

"What would it involve?" Logan inquired.

"It's a video project," Mr Sanders answered. "You just make a video on the subject that our school has been given, which for us is nature. Kind of like a documentary style."

"How many other people are doing it?" Virgil asked.

"Nobody."

Silence again. "Oh."

"Well, I am more than ready to accept the challenge," Roman decided. "In fact, it sounds like fun! I've actually dabbled in a bit of film making in the past."

"Great! You can teach the rest of 'em."

Roman frowned. "Huh?"

"Well, it's a group project," Mr Sanders informed them. "You'd have to all work together."

Roman's eyes widened. "What? You mean I have to work with _him_?" He pointed at Logan. "The guy who did _this_?" he continued, proceeding to gesture wildly at his face.

"It's either that or detention for at least a couple months."

Roman hesitated for a moment, but eventually gave up. "Okay. Fine. Whatever."

Mr Sanders looked over at the other three. "You guys alright with that?"

They all nodded.

"Great. I'll give you all the brief. You can speak to me about it whenever you need."

For a moment, Virgil thought that maybe this wouldn't be terrible - it would give Logan and Roman a chance to make amends, maybe even to become friends. Then again, the thought of having to work with both Logan and Roman set an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. This wasn't going to go well, was it?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Wednesday 8th June - Three Years Ago**  
_22:09_

_The two boys laid so close that they could hear each other's heartbeat. It was a beautiful night, the stars shining so bright that the two could almost forget about everything else, all their problems in their lives. It was just them. The best of friends, lying together on the soft grass under the moonlit sky._

_"It's strange to think that I'll have to leave again tomorrow," Logan said, breaking the silence._

_Virgil turned to his side. "You've only been here for a few days."_

_Logan turned to face him as well, so that he could look at him straight in the eye. "It feels like a lot longer."_

_"We'll see each other again next month, though," Virgil reminded him, desperately trying to lift the mood. Not just for Logan, but for himself as well._

_Logan smiled. "Yeah, I suppose so."_

_"And we can still text," Virgil pointed out. "And there's nobody stopping me from running away from home and coming to live with you down south."_

_"Virgil."_

_"Okay, fine, there are many people stopping me, but that doesn't mean I won't do it."_

_"Yes it does."_

_"Yeah, you're right." Virgil sighed. "You know me too well."_

_"And yet, we've only known each other for two years," Logan observed._

_Virgil smirked. "Greatest two years of my life."_

_They stared at each other for a few moments, before turning onto their backs again and looking up at the stars. Logan took Virgil's hand and held it tight. Virgil didn't mind._

_"We should probably go back inside," Logan said._

_"No." Virgil squeezed Logan's hand tighter. "Just a little bit longer."_

**Friday 22nd March**  
_15:32_

"Yo, Logan, can I-"

But he was already gone.

"Of course Logan's the first person out the door," Roman said, as he slung his bag around his shoulder.

Virgil sighed. "What has gotten into him," he said, flatly.

"He's always been like that," Roman replied.

Virgil frowned. "He's never been like that with me."

The three left the room, with Patton waving a quick goodbye to Mr Sanders. Virgil glanced up and down the hallway. Still no sign of Logan.

"Are you kidding me right now," he muttered.

"You alright, Verge?" Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, just..." He breathed out. "Dad thinks I'm at Logan's right now. Which, y'know, I'm clearly not."

Patton tilted their head. "Why can't you just tell him that you're not at Logan's?"

"It's not as simple as that." Virgil sighed, before turning to Patton and wondering, "Is there any chance I could hang at yours for a couple hours?"

Patton gave Virgil a sad look. "I'm sorry. I don't think Dad'll appreciate either of you coming round after today."

Part of Virgil deflated, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, that's, uh, that's fair enough."

"You can come around to mine, if you want," Roman offered.

Virgil glanced at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah. My parents aren't in tonight, anyway."

Virgil tried his best not to blush. "Okay. Um, thanks, Princey." He stuck his hand in his pockets.

Patton smirked. "You two run off, then. I'll see you tomorrow, Ro!" They began to make their way down the corridor.

"Wait!" Virgil called, causing Patton to halt and spin around on their heel, their skirt floating up as they twirled. "Aren't we at crafts?"

Patton shrugged. "You can go straight with Roman if you want." And they winked. _Winked_.

Roman closed his eyes. "Patton. Whatever you're thinking. No. That's not happening."

"Sure it isn't." Patton giggled. "Well, have fun you two!" They turned around the corner, leaving Virgil's sight.

Virgil turned to Roman. "What did they mean?"

"They're Patton," Roman stated, "they could have meant anything." He smiled that beautiful smile. "Let's go, you little nightmare."

_16:09_

Roman lived in an area which Virgil didn't recognise, or even knew existed in this town. Everything seemed kind of desolate, dull, nothing like the places that Virgil had grown up in. And Roman's house... God, Roman's house. Maybe once upon a time it had looked nice, but now the garden was overgrown and the windows were filthy and everything seemed to be falling apart.

"Just ignore the state of everything right now," Roman said, as he made his way down the path towards the front door. "My parent's aren't really around enough to care about what everything looks like. And honestly most of it is beyond repair."

He opened the front door and walked in, heading straight up the wooden stairs. Virgil followed closely behind, looking around at the yellow-stained walls and cracked photo frames, some of which contained pictures of a little Roman, young and careless. When Virgil finally stepped into Roman's room, he was faced with an overwhelming feeling of what could only be described as _wow_.

A bed with deep red sheets had been pushed against the wall, with a huge, open window overlooking the streets, letting the perfect amount of natural light in. At the end of the bed stood a bookshelf filled to the brim with novels, DVDs, CDs, and other assorted objects. The wardrobes was almost overflowing with clothes and decorated with stickers in the shapes of hearts. Polaroid pictures hung down from the ceiling and playbills for various broadway musicals were stuck to all four white walls of the room. A soft pink rug laid in the exact centre of the wooden floor, which Roman had plopped himself down onto.

"Are you going to sit down or are you just going to stare?" Roman asked.

Virgil blinked. "Oh, yeah, right..." He joined Roman on the rug. "Nice room."

Roman grinned. "I did everything in my power to ensure that this was the nicest room the house."

"I can tell." Virgil relaxed. Somehow, he felt more comfortable in this bedroom than he did in his own. "So, uh, what are we gonna do?"

Roman shrugged, grabbing his laptop from underneath his bed. "We could watch a couple movies. Just to pass the time before you can get home."

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

_21:09_

Half way into their third Disney movie, Roman pressed pause.

Virgil frowned. "Hey, why'd you stop it, my favourite song was about to come on."

Roman blinked. "You're favourite song is _Poor Unfortunate Souls_?"

"Uh, yeah? Who doesn't love a good villain song?"

Roman smirked. "That is honestly so you, you emo nightmare." He laughed. "Seriously though, most people say that their favourite song from this movie is _Under The Sea_."

Virgil grimaced. "Ew. That song is so overused."

"It's not _that_ ba-"

"Also," he interrupted, "it spreads an awful message. Like, it's literally just saying, 'stay exactly where you are, never try to explore any new opportunities, don't let yourself explore your true identity'. Great message to send to kids."

Roman let out an offended gasp. "Um, you _do_ realise that the rest of the movie _literally_ spreads the message that you _should_ put yourself out there and explore new worlds."

Virgil held his hands up in defence. "I never said that it didn't. All I said was that _this_ is the song that gets played the most. Which seems kinda counter-productive, actually." When Roman didn't reply, Virgil just sighed. "Look, I know that this isn't why you paused the movie."

Roman nodded. "Yeah. I, uh..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to talk to you about... stuff."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

For a moment, silence fell upon the room. Virgil noticed that it was getting dark outside, so that now the only light came from the laptop screen - which, considering the point in the movie, wasn't a lot at all, but it just managed to light up Roman's perfect eyes. Roman let out a dramatic sigh, and then looked directly at Virgil.

"I... Ever since I met you, I couldn't help but feel like... feel like you and I..." Roman closed his eyes. "Like we..."

It didn't take long for Virgil to realise what was happening. And in that moment, he could only think about anything other that his own feelings. Because if he accepted those feelings, everything would change. He wouldn't be the same. People would think differently about him and he wouldn't be able to cope.

But before he could say anything, Roman's lips were interlocked with his own. And he just _melted_. All those thoughts from before disintegrated into the air around them. It was just him and him, their souls a perfect match.

But then Roman drew back and all those thoughts re-entered his head, suffocating him. And Roman saw and his face fell.

"Oh my God, I-" Roman shuffled back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just-"

"No, it's okay," Virgil reassured him, desperately wanting their lips to connect again.

"No, it isn't. God, you're probably not even gay, I-"

"I am," Virgil said, too quickly and too quietly.

Roman stared at him.

Virgil cleared his throat. "I-I mean, I am gay." He sucked in a breathed. "Wow, it feels weird saying that out loud," he added as an after-thought.

Roman just continued staring at him. "Does... Does anyone else know?"

Virgil shook his head. "No." He paused. "Well, yes. I mean, they've probably guessed. Logan knew that I..." He drifted off.

"That you what?" 

"That I liked you."

He could swear that he saw a tear form in Roman's eyes. "You mean you-"

"Yeah. I do."

Roman took his hands, holding them tight, keeping him safe.

"But, uh, if this is a thing we're gonna do," Virgil continued, "I'd prefer to keep it on the down-low."

Roman frowned. "How come?"

"I'm not exactly... out? And, like, I know Patton would probably be cool with it, but Logan didn't really support the whole situation," Virgil explained. "And if my dad found out-"

"I get it," Roman promised. "We don't have to tell anyone if you're not comfortable with it."

Virgil smiled. He was starting to cry too. Roman brought him into a hug and the two sat there, safe and warm in each other's arms.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Saturday 23rd March**  
_9:02_

When Virgil stepped through his front door the following morning, he was met with his dad stood cross-armed at the bottom on the stairs.

"Uh, morning Dad?" Virgil greeted, uncertainly.

"Where have you been all night?" his dad asked.

Virgil frowned. "At Logan's?" he lied. "Like I said?"

His dad shook his head. "No, you weren't. I saw Carl last night at the office and he told me that you weren't going to Logan's that night," he stated. "He said that you haven't been to Logan's at all."

Virgil bit his lip. "I, uh, we've been hanging out just around the town, he didn't-"

"Virgil," his dad interrupted, "don't lie to me."

His shoulders stiffened up. "Sorry. I... I don't know how to explain."

"Then don't," his dad said. "Just _tell me_ what you've been doing this whole time."

Virgil's eyes stayed locked on the floor. "I have other friends, okay?"

"How come I don't know about these other friends?" his dad wondered.

Virgil sighed. "I dunno, you're never around, I don't even know how I'd bring it up in conversation, you'd insist upon meeting them immediately so you can see if they're good enough, I was scared that you'd tell me that I couldn't be friends with them-"

"Virgil, you're allowed to have friends." His dad moved closer towards him. "It would just be nice if you told me where you are."

He nodded. "Yeah, I get it. It's just... not that simple."

His dad gave him a concerned look. "Did something happen between you and Logan?"

Virgil didn't reply.

"Maybe we should go sit down," his dad suggested.

Without further arguments, his dad lead him into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. Virgil soon joined him, but instead on the armchair just across the room. He sank into the chair, still refusing to look his dad in the eye.

"Virgil, you can talk to me, you know," his dad said.

"Yeah, I guess," Virgil replied, eyes glancing to the side, to the floor, anywhere where is dad's eyes weren't.

"So... what is it?"

Virgil groaned. "Nothing. Nothing's happened."

"You really expect me to believe that?"

"Okay. Fine." Virgil sucked in a breath of air. "Logan and I are honestly fine. We're still friends, nothing bad has happened, I promised. It's just..." He tapped his foot on the floor. "I don't like his friends, he doesn't like my friends, it's all very awkward and I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you like his friends?" his dad inquired.

"Why are you interrogating me?" Virgil countered.

"I'm not interrogating you-"

"Really?" Virgil stood up. "'Cause it feels like you are."

Silence.

"I'm going to go upstairs."

Virgil walked out the room and headed straight up stairs, if only to hide the tear falling out of his eye.

_14:42_

**sleepisfortheweek**  
heyyyyyy gurl

 **onthevergeoftears**  
you're up early

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
9am is not early

 **onthevergeoftears**  
it is for you

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
maybe im tryjfn to chanbe

 **onthevergeoftears**  
go back to sleep u nerd you're clearly tired

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
u go back to sleep

 **onthevergeoftears**  
no.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
how are you doing?

 **onthevergeoftears**  
i'm a mess

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
what happened?

Virgil stared at his phone for a moment. Was he really about to do this? Could he just admit everything? At least if it was to Remy nothing bad come really come out of it. With Remy, everything was anonymous- he could tell him anything without having to worry about completely ruining the relationship, especially since they had never seen each other in real life and they probably never would.

He typed out everything.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
so my friends hate each other for some reason and they may have gotten into a huge fucking fight which ended up with them both injured and all three of us (plus my other friends who is an angel and has never done anything wrong i love them platonically) in detention and now they seem to hate each other even more and also i may have just kissed one of them which is my first kiss and oh boi please help i don't know what to do

It took a while for Remy to reply. Virgil fell back in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. When Remy finally replied, Virgil held his phone up in front of his face.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
that is a lot.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
ya i know

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
why didn't u start with the kiss

 **onthevergeoftears**  
dude.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
ok ok.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
seriously tho tell me everything let me live vicariously through ur love life

Virgil let out a tiny laugh upon reading that message.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
i went to his house after school and we watched a couple movies. long story short, he kissed me, i enjoyed it, nothing else happened.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **onthevergeoftears**  
nothing else happened!

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
ok ;)

 **onthevergeoftears**  
oh my god you are insufferable

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
u know i don't understand big words

 **onthevergeoftears**  
whatever. seriously tho, nothing else happened.

The doorbell rang downstairs. Ugh, people. Virgil hoped that whoever his dad had invited 'round didn't want to see him.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
alright. but what happened with the fight?

"Virgil!" his dad called from downstairs. "Someone's here for you!"

For a second, his heart stopped beating. Who would be here for him? As far as he knew, none of his friends knew his address, and if it was Logan then his dad would've said so. It wasn't as if Virgil talked to many people either - who would even _want_ to see him?

Whatever. The sooner he went downstairs, the sooner it would all be over. 

 **onthevergeoftears**  
gtg, i'll tell you later

Virgil locked his phone and shoved it in his hoodie pocket, before jumping out his bed and making his way towards the front door. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, his eyes laid on the one person he didn't expect to see at all.

"Patton?"

Patton gave Virgil a small wave. Virgil glanced at his dad, before stepping toward Patton and pushing him out the door. He closed the door behind him.

"Pat, what are you doing here?" Virgil asked. "How did you get my address?"

"Logan gave it to me," Patton answered.

Virgil frowned. "I thought you weren't friends with Logan."

"Oh, _I_ am. It's just Roman that isn't." Patton smiled. "I sit next to Logan in English. I don't know if he particularly likes me but I like him and I have his number so y'know."

"Okay, yeah, sure." He supposed that made sense. Kinda. "So why are you here?" Still looking at Patton, Virgil lowered himself down to sit on the steps leading up to his house, with Patton quickly joining him.

"Well, firstly I wanted to check that you were okay after yesterday."

"I'm fine," Virgil said, a little too quickly. "I mean, really it's Roman we should be worried about. And Logan."

Patton nodded. "You're right. I just wanted to make sure." He paused, before turning to face Virgil. "Also, uh, I have something for you."

Virgil blinked. "Yeah?"

"Yup." He reached into his pocket and pulled out... Virgil wasn't quite sure what. A piece of purple fabric, or something. Virgil didn't get a good enough look. "Close your eyes."

Virgil did so.

"Hold out your hands."

Virgil did that too. A moment later, a felt something soft land on his hand, warm and delicate.

"You can open your eyes now."

Slowly, Virgil's eyes opened and he looked down at the gift and all of sudden he started crying. It was a purple hoodie, decorated with ears on the hood and a bright pair of greenish-yellow cat eyes and a cute little nose and perfect whisker. But that wasn't what had made Virgil cry - it was what Patton had sown on. Just below the face laid a white heart, with the words 'Patton's Dark And Purrfect Son' stitched on in black thread. And reading those words just made Virgil _break_.

"Wait, no, don't cry, if you don't like it I can-"

"No." Virgil wiped his eyes and looked up at Patton. "I love it."

Nobody had ever given him anything like that before. Sure, Logan had brought him clothes in the past, but nothing this... personal. God, he had only known Patton for two weeks. How was it that he already felt this way towards him? How was it that they were already great friends?

"Why are you crying if you love it?" Patton wondered.

Virgil just smiled. "I don't know. I'm just... happy, I think."

Patton wrapped Virgil in a hug. "Good. That's all I want."

He had never had a friend like this. In the hundreds of schools that he had been too, he had never once had a friend who cared about him this much. It all just seemed too good to be true.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Saturday 30th March**  
_11:24_

They were meeting at half eleven. That meant Virgil still had six minutes before he needed to be at the café. He only had a minute of walking left.

Being the first person at the café didn't sound ideal - in fact, it sounded like a complete disaster. Sitting alone at a table, staring at the door, worrying about whether he was even in the right place? That really didn't sound like his idea of fun. But maybe one of the others was already there. There was really no way to tell.

Apart from just looking in the café, which is exactly what Virgil did as soon as reached the window. He glanced over the seats, looking for any familiar figure, and when he found none he just sighed. Yeah, no way he could go in just yet. He could... walk up the street, pretend he's doing something for a few minutes or looking for somewhere, take his phone out and pretend to realise that he was already at the right place and then turn around and return to the café without drawing too much attention to himself.

But once Virgil had taken a couple steps away from the café, he heard someone call his name and spun around to find Roman strutting towards him.

"You do realise that you're walking _away_ from the place you're meant to be at?" Roman checked, as he came up besides Virgil.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't know that. I had no idea this was where we were meeting up."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Okay, by the tone of your voice I'm guessing that you did know, so why were you walking away?"

"To avoid the weird looks that the café staff give to people awkwardly sitting alone at a table for four," Virgil replied.

"And you can't just, I don't know, tell them that you're waiting for friends?" Roman suggested.

"Me? Talking to people? Ew, no thanks." He opened the door, allowing Roman to walk past him before following him to a table at the back.

"How are we friends?" Roman asked, sitting down.

Virgil smirked. "Clearly, you can't resist my terrible posture and inability to make words come out my mouth."

That just made Roman laugh. "Well, there is a certain charm to it."

"Can you two stop flirting?" a third voice added.

Virgil turned and looked at Patton, as they too sat down at the table. "We were not flirting."

"You sure?" Roman asked.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh my God, Princey, you know-"

"Woah," Patton interrupted, staring at Virgil. "What did you do to your eyes?"

Virgil frowned for a moment, until the realisation hit him - he was wearing his eyeliner. "Oh, this? I, uh..." He plastered on a smile. "It's eyeliner. I only really wear it at night or on the weekends, so, uh, I guess you've never seen me with it? God..." He brushed away a strand of hair. "I can, like, take it off if you guys find it weird-"

"No!" Roman exclaimed. "Don't you _dare_ take it off!"

Virgil blinked. "Okay? I guess I won't?"

"You look _beautiful_ no matter what you wear, and if wearing makeup makes _you_ happy, then you _wear the hell out of it_!"

"Okay, yeah, I get it, could you maybe not compliment me so aggressively?" Virgil requested.

Roman drew back. "Do you not want me to compliment you?"

"Oh, no, you can totally continue with the compliments, I just don't like shouting, and, y'know-" He gestured vaguely at his face. "I'm not really in the mood to cry?"

"Sorry," Roman said.

"Don't be sorry," Virgil said. "You're great."

Patton looked at Virgil, then at Roman, then back at Virgil, and smiled. "You two are definitely flirting now."

"Oh my _God_ , Patton-"

"Seriously," they continued, "you two need to stop denying it and just get together already."

The table went silent as Roman and Virgil realised something - _Patton didn't know._ In the past week at school, neither of them had mentioned it, since Virgil still wasn't quite ready to come out. And that didn't sit right with Virgil. Sure, it would be a disaster if the whole school knew, but telling Patton wouldn't be so bad, right?

"Actually, Pat, uh-"

"Can I get you boys anything?" a waitress interrupted.

Roman shook his head. "Not yet. We're still waiting for one more."

"Do you know when they'll arrive?" she asked.

"He should be here soon."

"Alright, call me over when you're ready." She walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

Virgil turned back to Patton and cleared his throat. "Anyway, uh, as I was saying-"

"We're dating," Roman completed. "We've been together for about a week."

Patton looked as though they were about to explode.

"But please don't tell anybody," Virgil quickly added. "'Cause, like, I'm not exactly 'out', and, uh-"

"This is so exciting!" Patton squealed. They grabbed Virgil's left hand and Roman's right. "My two favourite boys getting along!"

"Haha, yeah, but about the whole keeping it quiet thing-"

"It's alright, I won't say anything," Patton promised.

"Not even Logan?" Virgil asked.

"Not even Logan," Patton confirmed.

"Speaking of Logan," Roman chimed in, "is that idiot even coming?"

Patton hummed. "He said that he would."

"He should have been here ten minutes ago..."

That didn't seem right to Virgil. Logan was _never_ late. Never. And if he knew that he'd take longer to arrive, then he'd call and rearrange the time to ensure that whoever was waiting wouldn't worry. Ten minutes late just didn't seem possible in regards to Logan.

"I'll call him," Virgil decided, taking out his phone and clicking on his contact. He held his phone up to his ear and listened to it buzz. One, two, three, four, five... Virgil lowered his phone to his lap. "He's not picking up."

Roman and Patton exchanged a concerned glance.

"Maybe he's just running a little late," Patton said, trying to lift the mood.

Virgil shook his head. "He would have called if he was running late." He bit his lip. "Something... Something's happened."

The waitress from before returned. "Are you boys okay?"

Roman waved her off. "Yeah, yeah, still waiting for our friend." She left.

Virgil stood up. "I'm going to go see if he's at home."

Roman frowned. "But-"

"His house isn't too far from here," Virgil stated, "and out of all three of us I'm probably the best option. I won't be long, promise. I'll call you if anything happens."

Without a further word from any of them, Virgil left the café and began to jog down the street towards Logan's estate, his heartbeat steadily increasing.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

_12:14_

Virgil held his phone close to his ear as he speed walked down the street, praying for Logan to pick up. It wasn't like Logan to miss or ignore one phone call, let alone several in a row. Unless his father had taken away his phone for some reason - which would be unlikely - there was no reason for Logan not picking up. Even in the middle of working on something Logan _always_ picked up.

So why wasn't he picking up now?

Okay, maybe he was busy. Maybe he was helping out his father on business. Maybe he was... _sleeping_ , or something.

But he couldn't be. Because he had plans that day, and Logan never messed up his plans. If two activities clashed, he would be sure to cancel one of them and let the participants know in an extremely formal and apologetic text message. He wouldn't just _forget_ to do that, either. And he definitely couldn't have been sleeping - Logan was awake at six sharp every morning, and usually in bed by ten.

The phone went to voice mail. With a frustration groan, Virgil shoved his phone back in his pocket and approached Logan's house. In the worst case scenario, Logan was probably grounded and maybe didn't have his phone with him, which wouldn't take long for Logan's father to explain.

He stepped through the gate and walked down the driveway, knocking on the front door as soon as he reached it. He tapped his foot on the ground impatiently as he waited for someone, anyone to open the door. All he wanted was to know that Logan was okay, that was all.

The door swung upon to reveal Logan's father, looking more confused than ever.

"Virgil?" he said, with a questioning tone. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Logan in?" Virgil asked.

"Yes, he's up in his room," he replied. "Do you want to come in?"

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

Logan's father stepped out of the doorway and allowed Virgil to walk inside. "You can go up and see Logan if you want. I believe he has a friend up there, though."

Virgil frowned. "What friend?"

Logan's father just laughed. "You know Logan. He had so many friends that I've lost count at this point. I can't quite remember his name."

"Right." The idea of having to walk in on Logan with one of his friends didn't exactly spark excitement into Virgil. Why was Logan even with a friend? He knew that the four were meeting up that day. Logan wouldn't just abandon them, right? Well, maybe Roman and Patton, but he would _never_ abandon Virgil. Never.

And what if it was a friend that Virgil knew? A friend that Virgil didn't like? A friend who didn't like _Virgil_? What if this all ended up in another disaster and another betrayal? What if he and Logan fell out again? What if he lost his best friend _all over again_?

 _Shut up_ , Virgil told himself. _It's gonna be okay._

"I'll be down here if you need anything."

Virgil shot a quick smile at Logan's father, before heading upstairs and directly to Logan's room. He remembered the plan of the house from last time he had visited - the only time he had visited, actually. But before he entered the door, Virgil stopped, listening to the muffled voices inside the room.

"-can't do this."

"What? Why not?"

"You know why."

"It's not like anyone's going to know."

"I don't have time right now. I have to-"

"C'mon, just one more."

"No-"

"Five more minutes-"

"Dee."

Dee.

Virgil couldn't have heard that right. That couldn't have been Dee in there. But then... who else would it be? He opened the door and looked inside. It was at that moment that his world came crashing down.

Logan's lips were interlocked with Dee's. Dee's hand ran through Logan's hair, whilst the other hands gripped each other tight. And Logan was just melting into the kiss. And all Virgil could do was watch.

That was until Logan opened his eyes and realised that Virgil was standing there. He pulled away and shoot up to his feet.

"Virgil-"

The two locked eyes for a second, but whatever silent message Logan tried to send didn't come through. A tear escaping his eye, Virgil turned around and ran.

_12:32_

The air refused to leave Logan's lung. He stood in absolute silence, staring at the spot where Virgil was just stood. Logan hadn't just been imagining things, right? That really was Virgil who just walked in on him?

"Was that Virgil?" Dee wondered, looking up at Logan.

"I- I think so."

"What was that weirdo doing here?"

Logan shot a glare at Dee. "That 'weirdo' is my best friend."

"I thought I was your best friend." Dee reached up and touched Logan's hand, attempting to wrap their fingers together, but Logan drew back. "Who even cares about Virgil?"

"I care about Virgil, Dee," Logan spat. "Virgil and I have been friends much longer than me and you."

"And?" Dee stood up and slowly wrapped his arm around Logan's shoulder, beginning to rub his friend's arm. "C'mon, if he just left like that then he isn't even worth it."

Logan pulled away, stepping into the centre of the room, and turned around to face Dee. "No. That... That isn't fair. He saw you and I kissing and that must have freaked him out." He ran his fingers through his hair. "You said something to him, didn't you?"

Dee frowned, and then laughed. "What are you on about?"

"He..." Logan breathed in. "Virgil told me that you and him don't really get along. And, well, it did kind of seem like you did something to him. So what is it? What did you do?"

Dee laughed again. "I don't know what you're talking about, Loggie. I've done nothing-"

"Don't lie to me, Dee," Logan snapped.

"I'm not lying," he replied in a soft voice. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you or your friends. I love you, Logan." He moved towards Logan and took ahold of his hand, pulling Logan closer and into a rough, forceful kiss.

Logan shoved Dee off him. "Look, Dee, I-"

"C'mon, Loggie, I'm not going to do anything-"

"No." Logan shook his head. "I told you that I can't do this." He sucked in a deep breath. "I think you should leave, Dee."

Dee shot a deathly glare at him. "What?"

"I said that you leave," Logan repeated.

Dee just stared at him, completely flabbergasted. "Why?"

"Because I _can't do this_!" Logan said, a little too loud. "We can't be together, alright? I don't feel that way for you."

"Is this because of Virgil?"

"No, it's not just to do with Virgil." He sighed. "Just... leave. Please."

Silence fell upon the room. The two stared at each other, refusing to look away. Footsteps echoed through the room. Logan heard the front door slam shut. He was left alone in his room, letting his tears out.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

_13:05_

Virgil felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He debated for a moment whether he should check it, but soon figured that it was probably just Roman or Patton wanting to know where he was. Which would make sense, considering after he had got away from Logan he had collapsed at the base of a tree in the nearby park and sat there for God knows how long trying to get rid of the tears which were definitely not invited.

He didn't even know _why_ what he saw had affected him so much. It wasn't as if Logan had done anything wrong. Who Logan liked wasn't any of Virgil's business. And maybe Dee wasn't so bad in the first place - perhaps the only reason he had said those things to Virgil was because he loved Logan and just saw Virgil as... a threat. Dee has just been protective. Virgil couldn't blamed him for that.

Except that didn't mean that none it it happened. Dee's behaviour couldn't be excused so easily. Logan _knew_ that Dee had done something to Virgil and yet he _still_ decided to put Dee above his best friend.

And there was the added fact that Logan had told him that he couldn't be with Roman, for no reason other than the fact that it gets a little heated sometimes in their debate club. So Virgil had the right to be angry at Logan, right?

God, Virgil had been friends with Logan for so long. How had everything gone so wrong?

Trying to shake his thoughts away, Virgil took his phone out his pocket and glanced at the new message. Upon reading the name, he shoved his phone away again. Why would Logan be texting him? Hadn't Virgil made it pretty clear that he _didn't_ want to see Logan, after he had quite literally ran away from his house?

His phone started buzzing again - somebody calling him. If it was Logan again, Virgil knew he wouldn't be able to deal with it. So instead he elected to ignore it.

But he just kept calling. And calling. And calling. How many times now? Why was he so _desperate_ to get ahold of him?

On what must have been the fifteenth call, Virgil grabbed his phone and picked up, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. He held his breath. Whatever Logan had to say, he could say. That didn't mean Virgil had to say anything back. He could stay silent. That would be fine.

"Virgil?"

That wasn't Logan.

"Virgil, are you okay?"

There was two voices, too. Roman and Patton. He let his breath out.

"Hey, guys," he just barely got out, his voice hoarse.

"Verge, thank God, please say you're okay," Roman spluttered out. "We've been trying to get ahold of you for like ten minutes."

"I'm okay," Virgil lied. "Just... thought it was someone else calling. Don't worry." He leant back against the tree, looking up at the sky almost covered by the branches.

"Do you have Logan with you?" Patton asked.

"No." Virgil sighed. "He's, uh, he's not coming."

"How come?" Roman inquired.

"I'll explain later."

There was silence on the other end for a few moments, until Patton finally said, "Are you sure you're okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay..." Patton hummed. "Where abouts are you?"

"In some park somewhere," he told them.

"Why?"

Virgil hesitated. "I'll explain later." Before anyone had chance to respond, he quickly added, "Where are you guys?"

"We're on our way to the theatre," Patton stated.

Virgil frowned, although he was over-aware of the fact that they couldn't see him, so he responded with, "How come?"

"We got kicked out of the café for loudly performing the entirety of 'Hamilton'," Roman chimed in, confidently. Virgil tried his best not to laugh. "Also I needed to get my camera stuff and I left it all at the theatre."

"Right." Virgil smirked. "I'll meet you guys there."

"You know the way?" Roman checked.

"I can figure it out." He began to get up, tapping his finger against his knee as he thought. 

"Alright. Call us if you need any help."

"Bye," Virgil said.

"Bye," his friends said in unison, before hanging up.

_13:21_

"Virgil!" Patton exclaimed, wrapping their arms around his neck and burying their face in his shoulder, causing Virgil to tense up slightly. "You made it!"

"Uh, yeah, I guess?"

Patton drew away and wrapped their fingers around Virgil's, dragging him into the theatre. "C'mon, Roman's waiting for us inside."

"Okay, okay." Virgil stumbled a little trying to keep up with Patton, but just about made it down the centre aisle towards the stage without any catastrophes. He watched Patton jump up onto the stage, before allowing them to pull him up as well. Once up on stage, he sat down on the side and then looked over at Patton, frowning. "Did you get changed?"

Patton giggled. "Yeah. I left this dress here a while ago, when I was using it for a _Lapis Lazuli_ cosplay. Thought it'd be a nice outfit to film in, y'know?" They did a little twirl, with the blue skirt floating in the air.

Virgil smiled. "It's beautiful, Pat. But I have no idea who you are on about."

Patton gasped. "You know, Lapis Lazuli?"

"Like, that weird blue thing that you use for enchantments in _Minecraft_?" 

That at least made Patton giggle. "No, silly! I mean the character? From _Steven Universe_?"

"Oh." That was a thing. He'd heard people talk about it before and occasionally saw a screenshot or piece of fanart pop up on his Tumblr dash, but hadn't thought too much about it. "I've never seen it." 

Another gasped. "You haven't?!" they exclaimed. 

Virgil blinked. "No...?" 

Patton grabbed his arm. "We're going to watch it someday. You and I, my house, all five seasons. You have no choice." 

Virgil took his arm back. "Okay, sure." From what he'd seen, he figured he would probably like it, anyway. And Patton seemed so enthusiastic about it that Virgil just couldn't bring himself to say no. 

"Yay!" Patton plopped down on the stage next to Virgil, swinging their legs back and forth. "So, what happened with Logan?"

Virgil hesitated. "Uh, can we wait until Roman gets here?" he requested. "I, like, don't want to go over it twice." 

"You won't have too!" someone shouted from stage right. Virgil glanced over to see Roman jogging up towards them, a huge smile across his face. "That's right, the man you've been waiting for has finally arrived!" 

"Actually," Virgil said, "you were both waiting for _me_ before, so-" 

"Shut up, let me have this." 

"Just saying-" 

"Don't fight, you two," Patton interrupted. 

"He loves me really," Roman said, taking a seat besides Patton. 

"Do I now?" Virgil teased, raising his eyebrow. 

"I mean, who wouldn't love me?" Roman finished. 

Virgil laughed. "Now _that's_ the Roman that I know and love." 

Roman gasped. "You love me?" 

"'Course I do, you idiot." Virgil displayed a huge grin.

He smiled back. "I'm gonna ignore the fact that you just called me an idiot because I'm so happy right now." 

"Aww," Patton squealed, "you two are so cute!" 

And then silence. 

"So, uh," Virgil started, "about Logan..." 

"Yeah, where is that nerd?" Roman asked, shuffling closer. 

Virgil took a deep breath. "He's with a... friend. I don't think he's coming." 

Roman frowned. "What friend?" 

"Dee." Virgil bit his lips. "He, uh, they were in his room when I got to Logan's house. They were, uh, busy, I guess." He didn't want to say what he had saw out loud. He could barely admit it in his own head. "So, yeah, he's not coming. Honestly, I don't really _want_ him here." 

"But... we need him," Roman said. 

Virgil sighed. "Do we really, though?" 

"Yeah. He has to do the project with us." Roman put his head in his hands. "I... This has to work out. I can't afford for this to _not_ work out." 

"What are you on about?" Virgil asked. 

"I'd lose my scholarship. I can't do that." Roman breathed in and out. "If I lose my scholarship, my entire life would be _ruined_."

Virgil frowned. "That's, uh, a little overdramatic, isn't it?" 

"He's being serious," Patton confirmed. "It's the same for me. If we mess this up, my dad may lose his job, and then I'll be out as well." 

"What?" he exclaimed. After the two just stared at him, completely seriously, Virgil looked down. "This... This really matters to you guys, huh?" 

"Yeah," the two said in unison. 

Virgil took his phone out his pocket. He stared at it for a moment, before sighing and calling Logan, holding his phone up to his ear and holding his breath in anticipation. 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_13:12_

Logan could not believe just how badly he had screwed up. Sure, he didn't... quite understand what he had done wrong, but it must have been serious for Virgil to react like that. He suspected it had something to do with Dee, at the very least. Something had to have gone down between Virgil and Dee. Something bad. Which would then make Virgil's reaction more rational.

But Dee wouldn't have done anything bad, right? Dee was a good person, and a good friend. He cared about Logan, and by extension he should have cared about Virgil too. Dee knew how important Virgil was to Logan. Dee knew that by hurting Virgil, he would hurt Logan too. And Dee didn't want to hurt Logan, right? Dee loved Logan - he had said it himself.

...or maybe Logan was just a guy that Dee liked to kiss.

Logan reread the message that he had sent to Virgil before.

 **13:05 Me:** _Virgil, if you're angry at me, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you in any way through whatever you heard or saw. Please call me. I'm... worried about you._

It still hadn't been read. Whether Virgil would ever reply to or even read that message, Logan didn't know. Virgil had always been the type of run away from his problems, to hide from danger. And if this whole thing was truly troubling Virgil, it was highly likely that he had already blocked Logan's number and thrown his phone into a river, never to be seen again.

There was a soft knock on Logan's door. He set his phone on the bed besides him and watched his father enter the room. "Logan, are you alright?"

Logan nodded, slowly. His father came to sit besides him.

"Your friends left in quite a hurry," his father said, chuckling a little. "They didn't even say goodbye to me."

Logan's eyes fixated on the floorboards. "I told Dee to leave. I don't particularly want to see him again, actually."

His father frowned. "And what about Victor's lad?"

"You mean Virgil?" Logan checked.

"Yeah, Virgil."

Logan sighed. "I... You are aware of my interest in guys, correct?"

"Fancy way of saying, 'I'm gay,' but yes," his father replied.

That made Logan laugh a little. "Well, uh, Dee also has an interest in guys - specifically in me. And, well, we've been seeing each other for a couple months now. Not exactly 'dating', but more like... like, we're close. And sometimes we hold hands in the corridors, or cuddle at his place, or kiss at mine."

His father tilted his head slightly.

"Nothing more, I swear!" Logan exclaimed. "We haven't gone further than kissing, promise."

His father let out a hearty laugh. "That's alright, Lo. I'm not gonna stop you if you do. As long as you're using protection."

"Father!"

"Alright, alright." He shook his head. "Just wouldn't want either of you getting pregnant, would we?"

"Ah, yes. Because we both have the organs necessary to produce offspring."

His father shrugged. "You never know."

Logan sighed. "But even so, it wouldn't happen. I never wanted to do anything more with him." He breathed in. "Before Virgil came in, Dee and I were arguing. He was saying how he wanted to do more than just kissing, and I... I told him no. I told him that I didn't want to do this anymore. That I didn't want to have that kind of relationship. That I... just wanted to be friends."

His father moved closer, and asking in a soft voice, "How come?"

"Because I... I don't know." He bit his lip. "The logical thing would be to say yes, because we're close and he likes me and I like him and we already have a good relationship that works, in which we both receive what we want. But... there's something telling me that I don't actually want it."

A thought from earlier came to mind. _Maybe Logan was just a guy that Dee liked to kiss._ Perhaps the direct opposite of that was true. Maybe it was Dee was the guy that Logan just liked to kiss. Maybe Dee was the only one who wanted more. Maybe Dee actually cared for Logan in a way that was more than just friends. Maybe Dee was truly in love with Logan, whilst Logan just wanted any affection he could get. But that all meant that Logan could never truly give Dee what he wanted.

"What has all of this got to do with Virgil, then?" his father asked.

Logan breathed in and out. "He walked in on us kissing, and I think that made him angry. I don't understand why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that Virgil doesn't like Dee."

"Do you know why Virgil doesn't like Dee?" his father asked.

"...no."

"Well, then maybe-"

Logan's phone began ringing.  He picked it up and glanced at the caller ID. "Virgil." His phone displayed a picture of him taken on their third meeting. Their respective father's had dragged them to another business 'party' - something about celebrating the two companies uniting. They had spent the entire night together. By the end, they had somehow found themselves outside in a rose garden. Virgil had insisted on a photo shoot under the stars. He wore a completely black suit, almost blending in with the night sky. In this particular picture, Virgil faced away from the camera, holding a rose in on hand and looking up at millions of white dots scattered on the backdrop of life.

"Are you going to answer?" his father asked.

"Yes," Logan replied.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes."

His father was gone. Taking in a deep breath, Logan pressed 'answer' and held the phone up to his ears.

"Hello, Virgil," he greeted.

After a moment of silence, a quiet voice replied, "Hey."

"I'm... sorry about what you saw," Logan said, figuring he may as well get his own story out of the way. "I know what it looked like, but I _promise_ it isn't like that at all. Dee and I are just..." He trailed off, not quite knowing how to put it.

"Friends?" Virgil guessed. "Or are you more than that? 'Cause either way, it doesn't particularly give me much faith in-"

"I don't even think we're friends anymore," Logan interrupted. "I don't feel the same way that he feels about me. Whatever that is, anyway. And he's gone now."

"Gone?"

"I told him to leave," he stated.

He listened to Virgil's heavy breathing. "You... told him to leave."

"I know that something happened between you two. And, well, I don't want him around anyway," Logan admitted.

"Oh."

Logan cleared his throat. "So, uh, why did you call?"

"Oh, right," Virgil said. "We were wondering-"

"We?"

"I'm with Roman and Patton."

"Ah." Of course he was. They were his best friends now, Logan supposed. It was probably his own fault - Logan hadn't exactly been the best friend, so it was now wonder that Virgil had moved on to others. He wasn't really angry about it, either.

"Yeah, uh, we were wondering if you remembered that we were supposed to meet up today?"

Logan's eyes widened. What day was it again? He glanced at his calendar - thirtieth of March, of course - and in the box the words 'project meeting' were written. He had forgotten.

"I'm sorry," Logan quickly apologised, feeling a wave of... something rush over him. Was that guilt? Is this was guilt felt like? "Dee came over without warning, and I must have gotten carried away." He stood up. "Where are you? I'll come meet you."

He heard a chorus of mutters on the other line, before Virgil finally announced, "We were thinking we could start tomorrow instead. I have to head home soon anyway, and Roman has an audition in an hour or so."

Logan breathed out and sat back down. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

"Good." Obviously he couldn't see him, but Logan imagined that Virgil was smiling. "We'll, uh, see you tomorrow. The café. Eleven?"

"That works for me." Logan smiled, although he knew that Virgil couldn't see him either. "See you."

The phone call ended.

 **Sunday 31st March**  
_10:58_

Virgil sat down at the same table as the day before and waited. Nobody had arrived yet, which made sense, since they still had two minutes before they were supposed to meet up. Or, one and a half minutes, more like.

The same question kept circling around his mind: what if Logan doesn't come?

He tried to shake it away. Tried to convince himself that Logan _would_ remember, that he would come and they'd all have a good time together, and maybe his best friend and his boyfriend could finally learn to get along. It seemed like a long shot, but any shot was better than none at all, right?

There was also that part of him that kept reminding him of everything that Logan had already done. He had stayed friends, maybe more than friends, with Dee, despite knowing that Virgil didn't get along with him. And then he had abandoned to be with Dee.

 _No_ , Virgil told himself. _He never abandoned you. You abandoned him._ He supposed it must have been karma. Virgil had continued to pursue Roman despite Logan's warnings. Maybe something else had happened between the two of them in the past, something a little bigger than simply a debate club rivalry. Maybe Logan just hadn't managed to properly communicate his feelings.

God. Communication. These two really needed to get better at that.

Whilst Virgil waited, he pulled out his phone and checked Tumblr, noticing he had a message from Remy.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
gurrrrrrl i am having a CRISIS rn and need ur opinion ASAP

Virgil began to type out a response, but stopped as someone else sat down at the table. As he looked up, his eyes set on him. "Logan," he breathed, putting away his phone.

"Greetings, Virgil," Logan said. "I apologise for being late. Although, I see that neither of the other two are here, so perhaps I'm not as late as I thought."

Virgil couldn't help but smile. "You aren't late Logan. The other two are on their way. And I'm very happy to see you."

Ignoring everything that he had just said, Logan continued, "And I'm deeply sorry for the events of yesterday. What happened will not happen again, nor do I want it to happen. However, I understand if you're angry at-"

"Logan," Virgil interrupted, "shut up. I'm not angry."

He frowned. "You aren't?"

"I could never be angry at you," Virgil promised, "nor do I want to be."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains implied homophobia.

_18:13_

Virgil closed the door behind him and stepped into the living room, displaying a small smile to his dad. "Hey." He sat down on the arm of the sofa, looking at his dad from across the room.

"Hello Virgil," his dad greeted. "Did you have a nice day?"

"Yeah, it was great," he replied. "I think Logan's finally starting to get along with my friends."

"Oh." His dad frowned. "Your friends who you still won't tell me about."

Virgil sighed. "Right. Sorry, Dad. Their names are Roman and Patton. They go to my school. They're both good people."

"Well, if Logan has learned to get along with them, have you learned to get along with his friends?" his dad wondered.

He should have seen this coming. "No. It... It's not that simple, Dad. His friends _aren't_ good people, okay?"

"If they're friends with Logan, surely they can't be _that_ bad-"

"You don't know them, Dad," Virgil said, bluntly. "And to be perfectly honest, I'd rather not talk about it." He slid down onto the seat and crossed his legs.

"Alright." His dad stood up and walked across the room, taking the seat next to Virgil, who proceeded to spin slightly so that he faced his dad. "Well, I actually have something that I want to talk to you about."

Virgil frowned. "Yeah?"

"I don't know much about your life," he began, "but I'm assuming you don't have much experience in terms of relationships."

That immediately set Virgil's heart aflame, as if the insides of his body were slowly burning. Did Dad know about him and Roman? Had he found his conversations with Remy? Why was he bringing relationships up now?

"I was just wondering if you were planning on getting a girlfriend," his dad stated.

Virgil breathed out. It was fine. He didn't know about Roman. However, that didn't make his dad's statement much better.

"I just think it'd be nice to continue the family name, y'know?" his dad continued, looking up at the paintings on the wall and then back down at Virgil. "You're my only child, Virgil. I had no siblings of my own."

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, I... I know. But you know that I'm not really interested in that whole business, right?"

"It's just something to think about." His dad glanced to the side. "Or... Well, I actually was talking to a colleague earlier. She has this _beautiful_ daughter who I'm sure would be more than interested to meet you."

Virgil's eyes widened. "You... didn't set me up on a date, did you?"

His dad sucked in a breath. "Well, technically it was my colleague who booked the reservations-"

"Reservations?" Virgil repeated, moving back up onto the arm of the chair.

"We booked a table in some restaurant down in town for tonight, for you to meet her-"

"No."

His dad stared at him. "No?"

"I can't," Virgil said.

"Do you have other plans?"

_Think._

"No, I just-"

"Then what's stopping you?"

_C'mon, Virgil, think!_

"I, uh, I don't even know her-"

"That's kind of the whole point of meeting her."

_Get out of this!_

"But, my, uh, I-"

"Virgil, you are _going_ to meet this girl and _that's final_."

_Don't let it slip, just get out!_

"I can't do it."

"Why not?!"

_Don't let it slip, don't let it slip, don't let-_

"I'm gay."

It slipped.

The next moment seemed to last forever. A dead silence filled the room, so all he could hear was the beating of his own heart. Virgil stood in the doorway and his dad towered over him. When had they moved? How had any of this happened? In that moment, all Virgil wanted to do was disappear, to disintegrate into a pile of dust, to just... cease to exist. That way, he'd never have to experience what happens next.

"You're... joking, right?" his dad hoped.

"No. I'm not." Virgil glanced to the floor, unwilling to make eye contact.

"You're just saying this because you don't want to meet this girl," his dad said, not quite confidently.

"I'm saying it because it's true," Virgil promised. "I have a boyfriend. Who is a _good_ person. And nothing's going to change the way that I feel."

His dad's eyes widened. "You... you already..."

"Yes."

"But- What if... What if people find out?" he muttered, stumbling over his words. "That can't- That would- It could ruin me- ruin the company. What if the press find out?"

"Would that really be so bad?" Virgil asked, beginning to lose his patience.

"We can't have someone like _that_ taking over the company."

"Why not?" Virgil snapped, now looking directly into his dad's eyes.

He didn't seem to have an answer to that.

Virgil turned around and went upstairs, collapsing onto his bed and trying his best to not let the tears fall.

_2_ _3:02_

Virgil opened his eyes. Moonlight seeped into the room. He must have drifted off to sleep at some point, and now it was night. He reached for his phone, which had fallen out of his pocket and into the bed, and checked the time. 23:02. His dad was probably already asleep, or at least in his room.

Everything that had happened a few hours ago came rushing back to Virgil's mind. None it it looked good. He supposed he missed the dinner, at least. Although, he couldn't help but feel kind of sorry for that girl. He didn't know her, but she couldn't have been that bad. It wasn't her fault.

Or his, really. He had to keep reminding himself that. It wasn't his fault that he was like this.

He opened up Tumblr, remembering that he still hadn't replied to Remy's text from earlier. But before he managed to type out of response, he heard a muffled voice from outside of his room.

Curious, he made his way over and leant against the door, listening in to his dad speaking to... somebody. A person on the phone.

"Yes, I know, but- Okay. I'm sorry. It's just that I don't think he's ready. Maybe some time away- Yes, yes I understand. Please call me back when you've decided."

Virgil stood back up and leapt back into bed. His dad has clearly been talking about him. Talking about _sending him away_. That couldn't happen. He had _finally_ found a place where he could be himself, a place where he had people who _cared_ about him. He couldn't let that be taken away.

Footsteps echoed up and down the corridor. Virgil had to get away, get out somehow. But he couldn't just walk out the front door, not when his dad was right there. There was only one way out of his room, and his dad was blocking it. Unless...

No. That'd be stupid, dangerous even. He couldn't just risk his life like that.

Then again, this was only the second floor, and there was a roof just below that he could slide down. He wouldn't die. Only mildly injure himself, if he was stupid, which he was not.

That wasn't another way.

Trying not to think too hard, Virgil moved over to his window and opened it wide. The cool air hit his face, but he didn't mind. He lifted his legs over the edge and sat for a moment, looking down. Thankfully, he was just tall enough to be able to reach the roof just below the window. He jumped out and lowered himself so he sat on the roof, and then slowly, carefully slid down.

Once his feet were safely on the floor, he breathed out. He was safe.

Not even looking back, he headed down the road, towards the park. He couldn't go to Logan's, and the idea of just showing up to either of the others without warning didn't sit right with him. But at least if he made it to the park he had a place to rest. He could message Patton and ask for help.

That's exactly what he did.

 **2** **3** **:29 Me:** _are you awake?_


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains mentions of implied homophobia and bad family relationships (kinda? idk just a follow up from the last chapter).

_23:29_

Virgil put his phone on the bench besides him and brought up his knees, counting in his head to remind himself how to breath. The park was empty, which made sense considering how late it was. He knew that he couldn't stay in the park all night. Despite his brain suggesting that it'd probably help his situation, Virgil didn't particularly feel like getting murdered.

And that left Patton to be his only hope. Obviously, there was Roman as well, but he lived on the other side of town and, although Virgil didn't quite know the situation, he suspected that Roman's parents wouldn't be all too pleased about him just showing up in the dead of night. Which left Patton, assuming he was even up at this time.

God, what if he was asleep? What if Patton never got the message and Virgil was left all alone? What if somebody just came around the corner and kidnapped Virgil right there and then?

No. No, that wouldn't happen. Besides, he could very easily just walk back home, where he'd be safe again.

But he'd already come too far. He wasn't about to turn back now. He couldn't turn back now. He had made his decision and now he had to deal with the consequences. That probably wasn't the best philosophy, but that was what he decided to stick with.

His phone lit up the darkness. A nice melody filled the air, although in this situation he couldn't help but find it creepy, kind of. He picked up the phone and smiled, thankful that Patton was awake and calling him. He pressed 'answer' and brought his phone up to his ear.

"Hey Patton," he whispered, afraid to further disturb the eerie peacefulness of the night.

"Verge, are you alright?" Patton immediately asked.

Virgil sighed. "I... no."

"What's wrong?" he said, his voice filled with worry.

"I, uh..." God, his voice was so croaky. So rough. He could barely get any words out. "Some stuff happened. I don't..."

"You don't have to say what happened," Patton promised, being the angel that he is. "Do you need help?"

"Yeah." He breathed in. "Can I come to your house?"

Patton hesitated. "Virgil, I love you and want to help you, but it's like almost midnight and we have school tomorrow-"

"I know, Pat," Virgil interrupted, running his free hand through his hair. "I just need somewhere to sleep for tonight. I promise I'll be out of your hair tomorrow. You don't even have to-"

"Virgil," Patton said, the concern in his voice increasing. "Where are you?"

"I'm... I'm sitting on a bench in the park," he admitted.

"Why aren't you at home?" Patton asked.

"It's a long story."

A long pause, and then, "Come 'round."

 **Monday 1st April**  
_6:00_

A blaring alarm jolted Virgil out of his slumber. Not that he had actually slept all that much. In fact, the alarm hadn't even bothered him that much - he already felt as though he was awake, which was slightly worrying for him.

He had slept on a makeshift bed on Patton's floor, made out of piles and piles of blankets that the two had found scattered around the house. Virgil was more than thankful for that, for everything that Patton had done. He still hadn't quite explained his situation either, so the fact that Patton actually wanted to help him just...

"Morning Virgil!" Patton greeted, ever so cheerful.

The side of Virgil's lips perked up. "Hey."

"Have a nice sleep?" Patton wondered, as he got out of bed and began his morning routine.

Virgil sat up and leant against the wall. "If you can call it sleep."

Patton paused in his tracks. "Are you sure you're alright, V?"

Virgil laughed. "No."

Turning on his heel, Patton moved closer to Virgil and leant down. "Can you... tell me what happened?"

Virgil's eyes glanced down. "I..." He shut his eyelids tight. "I probably should. I just... had an argument. Last night. With my dad." He banged his head against the wall and opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. "Long story short, I ended up climbing out the window and running away. Which, now that I think about it, probably wasn't the smartest move."

Patton lowered himself further so that he sat crossed legged on the floor. "What was you arguing about?"

"I came out."

It took a moment for Patton to realise what Virgil meant, but once he had figured it out, all he said was, "Oh."

"It's all alright though," Virgil said, not sounding convincing at all. "It'll all just blow over. I probably just... overreacted."

Patton placed a hand on top of Virgil's. "Virgil-"

"Dad probably hasn't even noticed that I left. I can just go home after school and pretend that none of this ever happened."

"Virgil," Patton repeated, more forcibly than before, causing Virgil to tilt his head down so he looked Patton directly in the eye. "You did nothing wrong. You got yourself out of a bad situation. That's all you can do."

Virgil opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it and sighed. "Yeah, sure. But, like, I can't just-" He glanced to the side and then back at Patton. "-not go home. Can I?"

Patton twisted his fingers round so they were interlocked with Virgil's and lifted their hands into the air. "Home is where you feel safe. You don't have to put the feelings of your dad over your own safety. Do whatever feels right."

Virgil finally let out a smile. "Yeah, I guess."

"And if your dad truly cares for you," Patton continued, "he'll come looking for you. That's when you know that you'll be safe."

Patton stood up and moved away, going to get ready for the day. Figuring he should probably do the same, Virgil got out of his pile of blankets and began to gather them up ready to return them. He was still wearing the same clothes from the night before, so he didn't need to get changed, but he decided to go to Patton's bathroom to at least get a quick wash, mostly to get rid of yesterdays makeup. For a moment, he considered asking Patton if he had any makeup he could borrow, until he remembered that they were going to school and he still wasn't quite comfortable showing that part of himself. He could wait. For now, all he had to do was make it through the day.

On his way back to Patton's room, however, he bumped into somebody he hadn't thought about, and immediately realised the huge mistake he had made.

"Virgil?" Mr Sanders said, his voice littered with confusion.

Virgil smiled nervously. "Uh, morning, Sir."

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Virgil cleared his throat. "I, uh, stayed over last night."

Mr Sanders frowned. "I don't remember you coming in."

"You were sleeping," Virgil said.

"Did Patton invite you?" Mr Sanders inquired, seemingly ignoring Virgil's remark.

"Uh..." Virgil hesitated. He couldn't tell Mr Sanders what had happened. He could _not_ make another mistake. "Yeah. He, uh, wanted to talk, so I came over." He cringed at how stupid and unconvincing that sounded, especially considering that the truth was the _exact opposite_ of that.

Before Mr Sanders could reply, Virgil's guardian angel finally came out the room. "Morning Dad!" Patton greeted.

Mr Sanders turned around. "Oh, morning Pat."

He grinned. "Sorry that I didn't tell you about Virgil. He's going through a tough time right now, so I invited him over."

"Oh," Mr Sanders said, turning back to Virgil, "is that so?"

Virgil stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I, uh, yeah."

Mr Sanders hummed. "Well, you two you get ready for school, I'll drive you down."

"Thanks Dad!" Patton said, a smile across his face. "C'mon, Verge, I have some spare makeup if you want any."

Virgil couldn't help but smile at that.

_15:09_

"You sure about this?"

After school, the four of them had gathered on the hill on the edge of town. Surprisingly, it hadn't been difficult for Virgil to convince Logan to come along. And, of course, the other two were more than happy to continue their project. For Virgil, he mostly just wanted to waste time before he'd have to face his dad again. Not that he was one hundred percent sure on his plan to return home. He just didn't want to mess things up any further.

"Yeah," Roman said, coming up besides Patton, "I'd be more than happy to volunteer to take your place."

"And we don't even have to do it at all," Patton added.

"I know," Virgil said, "but I want to. Besides, what do we have to lose?"

"Your life," Logan stated. "If you fall that it. Of course, the chances are slim, but I wouldn't want-"

"Logan," Virgil interrupted, "that question was rhetorical."

"Oh. Right." Logan sighed. "In that case, go ahead."

Virgil smirked. "So who's filming?"

Patton lifted up the camera. "I got it!"

"Great," Virgil said.

"You got your camera?" Roman asked.

Virgil patted his pocket. "Yup."

"Good luck, then."

Still smiling, Virgil turned towards the tree and gripped the lowest branch. He spent a few moments finding a suitable foothold, before lifting himself up and beginning to climb. This wasn't the first time he had climbed a tree, obviously. He and Logan used to do it all the time together, on a tree very similar to this one. And the branches seemed sturdy, anyway. What could go wrong?

Although, the tree did seem bigger than he thought, now that he was up there. Still, that was no reason to give up. Virgil was careful. He was always careful. He would never let himself be hurt. He knew how to stay safe. And when he was so high, the gentle wind brushing against his cheeks, he forgot all of his worries.

And eventually, he made it to the top. He looked down at the other three, who waved back up at him, clapping and cheering with glee, and then got to work filming the town from this great height. It was a beautiful view. He could see _everything_ \- their houses, the school, the park, the shops. He finally felt _free_.

But then he heard a crack. And his heart just stopped.

Everything was a blur. He saw the leaves and branches rise above him and he was powerless to stop them.

The last thing he remembered was the other three rushing towards him, and then darkness.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter takes place in a hospitals and contains mentions of injury and implied past bullying.

**Tuesday 2nd April**  
_00:09_

Virgil awoke to a blinding white room and immediately closed his eyes again. He lifted up his right arm to rub the bridge of his nose.

"What time is it?" he mumbled, attempting to turn to his side but finding himself unable to move at all.

"Virgil, you're awake," a familiar voice said, followed by a sigh of relief.

He slowly opened his eyes again, this time not shocked by the bright light, and saw him. Roman. Roman was here, which meant Virgil was safe. He smiled.

"Morning, Princey," Virgil said.

"It's just past midnight, Virgil," Roman stated.

Virgil frowned. "Then why is it so bright?"

"You're in hospital."

Virgil shot up, a twinge of pain rushing through his body as he attempted to do so.

"Woah, V, calm down," Roman said, gently pushing him back down. "No sudden movements. You broke a few bones and may have had a mild concussion."

"What?" Virgil exclaimed, blood suddenly rushing to his head.

"You fell out of that tree, remember?" Roman reminded him. "Once you hit the floor, you blacked out. We called Patton's dad and drove you here to the hospital. They looked over you, said that you'd have to spend the night but could go home in the morning, assuming you woke up. Which, clearly, you did."

Virgil blinked. "Okay, thanks for the quick plot summary, but could we maybe go back to the concussion part?"

"Oh, yeah." Roman stood up. "Stay here, I'll go get a nurse. You'll be fine, V, I promise."

And just like that, he left the room. Virgil was unable to stop him, for a multitude of reasons - most of those being that he could barely move an inch. In the time that Roman was gone, all Virgil could do was stare at the ceiling, praying that he'd be alright. Not that it particularly mattered, since he didn't have all that much to live for anymore. Not when he couldn't even show his face at home. Although, Roman was still there, so maybe life was worth it after all.

Eventually, Roman returned with a nurse, who essentially told Virgil what Roman had already - he blacked out and broke a leg, but would be allowed to leave in the morning. She suggested that Virgil should get some sleep and then left the two alone in the room.

"You can go home, y'know," Virgil said, tilting his head towards Roman.

"Nah," Roman refused. "I wouldn't want to leave you alone. You definitely should get some sleep, though."

"Haven't I basically been sleeping since I fell out that tree, though?" Virgil countered.

"Well, yes, but-"

"And have you been sat here watching me all this time?" Virgil questioned.

"That, uh, you're right, but-"

"Therefore, you should be the one sleeping," he concluded.

Roman held up his hand, as if he was about to protest, but slowly put it down. "Okay. Yeah. But, like, where am I going to sleep?"

"Believe it or not, there's a bed right here."

"You're in the bed, Virgil."

"And?"

After a moment of confusion, Roman replied, "Oh. Alright." He climbed onto bed besides Virgil, not going under the covers but still providing him with that little bit of extra comfort. For a moment, Virgil could almost forget everything bad going on. All he needed was Roman to be there.

_8:12_

"Roman!" Logan called, as soon as he came into view. He had been waiting by the school gates for Roman to arrive, hopefully bringing news of Virgil. Logan had barely been able to sleep the night before, worrying so much about whether his closest friend was okay. But now Roman was here, and surely he would know what happened.

Roman approached Logan, giving him a nod in greeting. "Did you want something?"

"Is Virgil okay?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, he's fine," Roman assured him. "Woke up just past midnight. He broke a leg, but he'll be okay. Should be leaving later today."

Logan let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

The two began to walk through the gate, walking side by side for the first time in their life. It felt strange, to be this close to him, especially considering everything that Roman had done in the past. Still, they had to look out for each other at this time. They needed to have someone to help them get through this. For Virgil, Logan was sure that he and Roman could set aside their differences.

"But anyway, since when do you care so much about Verge?" Roman inquired.

Logan blinked. "I've been friends with Virgil for much longer than you've known him, Roman."

"Yeah, but, like, I'm literally dating him, so-"

Logan stopped in his tracks. "You're dating him?" he repeated.

Roman looked confused for a second, before realisation set in. "Shoot, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. But, uh, yeah, we are."

After taking a moment to compose his thoughts, Logan nodded and smiled, trying his best not to make it look forced. "Okay. I'm happy for you two."

"Really?"

"Yes, Virgil's my friend, I'd never-"

"'Cause Virgil was, like, convinced that you'd hate him for it," Roman stated.

Logan frowned. "What?"

Roman shrugged. "Don't ask me." They reached their classroom and paused outside the door. Form hadn't started yet, so they still had a few minutes to talk.

Logan pursed his lips in thought. "Actually, that's probably my fault. I... I told him that he couldn't have a crush on you, because of everything that's happened."

"Everything that's happened?" Roman repeated. "What do you- Oh." He sighed. "I, uh, yeah. I know we got off on the wrong foot-"

"That's an understatement."

"Okay, I know I was a complete dick to you in the past," Roman corrected, "but in my defence, half the stuff I did was because my friends pressured me to do it. I never hated you, Logan."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? So why do you still act as if you hate me now?"

"'Cause you act the same way!" Roman exclaimed. "Every _single_ time we go to debate you're always right up at me for some goddamn reason!"

"I mean, you can hardly blame me though, after everything," Logan said.

Roman groaned. "We've gone over this, I'm not the same person I used to be! That Roman died like three years ago, when I..." He trailed off.

"When you what?" Logan asked.

Roman sucked in a gasp of air. "One day when we were, y'know..."

"Ruining my life, yeah, go one."

"I saw you crying," Roman admitted. "And it made me realise that what I was doing wasn't a good thing to do. I'd, like, never seen you cry before. Or show any emotion at all. Maybe... Maybe that's why I thought it'd be alright to act so terrible. Like, for some reason I just assumed you wasn't bothered."

"Why the hell would you think that?" Logan asked, completely flabbergasted.

Roman lifted up his arms to make a 'why' motion. "I don't know, I wasn't exactly the smartest kid. In fact, I was a complete idiot. And I'm sorry."

Logan considered that for a moment, before saying, "Okay. I forgive you, Roman."

Roman's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes, Roman, really." Logan sighed. "To be fair, I wasn't exactly a saint either. We both did bad things." He closed his eyes. "But now our friend is in trouble. And if we forgive each other..." He opened his eyes again and held out his hand. "I'm willing to be friends. For Virgil's sake."

Roman grinned and took Logan's hand, shaking it gently. "For Virgil."

_8:30_

When Virgil woke up again, he was met with the one person he didn't expect at all. Why wasn't Roman next to him anymore? And why was... _he_ here?

"Good morning, Virgil," his dad greeted.

Virgil blinked. "Where did Roman go?"

"Roman?" his dad repeated, with a questioning tone.

"He was here last night, where is he?" Virgil asked, again.

His dad continued to look confused for a moment, before finally saying, "Oh, your friend. He left like an hour ago, for school."

Virgil breathed out. "Okay. That makes sense." He began to sit up, just about finding the strength in his arms to push himself back. "When did you get here? And, uh, why are you here?"

"To answer your first question, I got here just as Roman was leaving an hour ago," his dad informed him, "and to answer your second question, I'm your dad, Virgil. Why would I not come to see you?"

"Oh, I don't know," Virgil replied, his voice drenched in sarcasm. "It's not like we had an argument the last time I saw you, and then you had a phone call in which you were planning to send me away. That didn't happen at all."

His dad frowned. "What phone call?"

"I heard you outside my door," Virgil said.

The room descended into silence, until his dad said, "I was just talking to your mother, Virgil."

"You... want to send me to live with my mother?" Virgil guessed.

"No, Verge." His dad leaned closer. "I only wanted you to stay with her for a little while, before you take over the company."

"Take over the company." Virgil stared at him. "You want me to take over the company."

"Well, yeah. You're my only child, Virgil. I want to pass it on to you," he said.

Virgil sucked in a breath. "I don't know if I... if I can take over the company."

"Just think about it, okay?" his dad requested. A simple request, really. To just _think_ about it. But for Virgil, _thinking_ rarely got him anywhere good. All it ever did was make him panic.

A nurse came into the room. "You're free to go, Mr Andrews. We have a pair of crutches for you to use. We've already gone over everything with your father."

Virgil shot her a quick smile. "Thank you."

She nodded and left.

Virgil turned back to his dad. "So... yeah. Alright. I'll, uh, think about it, I guess."

"And, if it's any consolation," his dad continued, "I've been thinking, and, well... I can't decide what you're like as a person. And if that means you... that you like..."

"That I'm gay?" Virgil guessed.

"Yeah, that." His dad sighed. "Uh, that's alright. I'm okay with you being like that."

"Y'know, it's not giving me great confidence that you can't even say the word 'gay'," Virgil told him.

"Fine. I'm okay with the fact that you are gay."

Virgil smiled. "That's all I want to hear, Dad."

"I love you, son."

"I love you too."


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains mentions of injury.

**Thursday 4th April**  
8:01

Virgil had stayed off school for the couple days following his injury, but decided to go back on the Thursday - mostly because he missed his friends so freaking much. He wanted to talk to Logan, to laugh with Patton, to be held by Roman. And he was starting to get used to walking with crutches, having spent so much time trying to get around the house in his boredom. He was ready to get back out there.

He waited at the gates for either of his friends to arrive, knowing that it was unlikely for any of them to show up before eight. Apart from perhaps Patton, if his dad drove him, but there was a higher chance that he'd walk alone or with Roman.

However, the first person he found was Logan, and seeing his oldest and closest friend walk around the corner just made his heart soar.

"Hello, Virgil," Logan greeted. "Are you doing alright?"

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Should be fine to walk normally in a few months. It... wasn't too drastic, really."

Logan smiled. "Good."

"So what's happening with the project?" Virgil asked, since that question had been on his mind for days.

"Roman and I were talking and we decided that we'd wait until after our exams," Logan stated. "Your leg should have healed by then and we'll all have a lot of free time."

"Sounds good," Virgil said.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Logan said, his face falling for a second.

Virgil just smiled. "It's not your fault, Logan."

"I know," Logan replied, "but you know I love you, right?"

Virgil's smile grew even more, if that was possible. "I love you too, buddy."

 **Saturday 8th July**  
_11:09_

Virgil stepped into the coffee shop and made us way over to his friends in the corner. Exams had ended a few weeks ago. His cast had been taken off the night before. All of them had finished school at this point, so it was time to get things started.

"Virgil!" Patton exclaimed, jumping up to his feet.

"Hey, guys," he greeted, taking a seat at the table.

"Woah, he can walk!" Roman pointed out, rather dramatically.

Virgil laughed. "Yes, I can. And we've got a thing to film, so..." He clapped his hands together. "Shall we get started?"

_13:24_

Roman ran off into the distance. Patton tried his best to keep up, doing a Naruto-run which made only Virgil laugh. Logan trailed slightly behind them, holding a camera to film as he speedwalked. Virgil just watched from a distance, holding another camera to get a shot from further away.

This entire thing was ridiculous. The script didn't make much sense, and the information they were putting in wasn't exactly the best of facts, but it would be fun. They didn't want to just list off facts about photosynthesis or whatever. They wanted to make something they could be _proud_ of. Something that showed the beauty of the world. Something that showed the beauty of each other.

_16:53_

"Are we even allowed in here?" Logan asked, as the four of them took a slow wander through a forest.

They must have been a few miles away from their homes. They had ran through a field to get here, knowing that just beyond this forest there was a lake. Virgil had seen it before from the top of the tree, and suggested that they go check it out for the video. Which meant a trek through the forest, which actually excited the three of them a lot. Apart from Logan, of course, who seemed to be scared out of his wits.

"This land isn't owned by anyone," Virgil reassured him. "It's perfectly safe."

"We could be murdered at any time, though," Logan said.

Virgil nodded. "True, true."

"Nope!" Patton chimed in. "Not getting murdered! This is perfectly safe!"

"Yeah, don't listen to me," Virgil said. "Listen to Patton. He's more trustworthy. And also probably the only one here who wouldn't get murdered."

"Why wouldn't I be murdered?" Patton asked.

"You're too innocent. The murderers would spare you," Virgil exclaimed.

"Can y'all stop talking about murder?" Roman requested. "We can't exactly put a conversation about murder into our project." He had been holding the camera and filming whilst the walked, Virgil remembered.

"Just get rid of our voices and add music over the top or something," Virgil suggested.

"Do you really think I know how to do that?" Roman inquired.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "That's why _I'm_ chief editor, and not you."

"What am I the chief of then?"

"Being a dramatic bitch."

"We definitely can't put that in the video," Logan said.

"And also you shouldn't be calling me a bitch," Roman added.

"You're _my_ dramatic bitch, though," Virgil stated.

For a moment, nobody responded and Virgil felt like crawling in a hole and dying, until Roman replied with, "Guess I'll just have to be the best dramatic bitch then."

Virgil smiled at that. "Love you."

"Love you too."

"Gross," Logan said.

"Shut up."

"Guys!" Patton shouted, turning around to face them all, making Virgil realise that, whilst he and Roman has been 'flirting', Patton has gone ahead. "We're here!"

The four of them stepped out of the forest and gasped as the saw the beauty of the lake, the sunlight reflecting off it's calm ripples. A huge wall made of jagged rocks and covered in greenery spread out behind it, towering over trees and everything else hiding under it's protection, but it still wasn't tall enough to overpower that blaring sunlight. Not yet.

Forgetting about anything going on in their lives, the friends approached the lake and sat down at the water side, Roman being the only one brave enough to take off his shoes and dip his feet in.

"Is the water not cold?" Logan asked, sending Roman a confused glance.

Roman shrugged. "It's not gonna kill me. It's relaxing."

"Alright. Suit yourself." Logan leaned back on his hands. "Y'know, I never even knew this place existed."

"Me neither," Roman and Patton said in sync.

Virgil snorted, causing the other three to frown in his direction. "Sorry, I just thought it was funny that, like, you three have lived here your whole life and you never knew this was here, and I've only been here for, like, three months or something, and yet I was the one who noticed it."

Patton hummed. "So if you never moved here, we'd have never seen all this."

"If he'd never moved here," Roman chimed in, "none of us would have done any of this. Me and Logan would never have got in that fight - sorry again about that, Logan-"

"Apology accepted," Logan said. "I believe I've already forgiven you anyway, Roman, remember?"

"Haha, yeah."

"And also I'll ignore the grammatical error that you made since you clearly mean for this to be heartfelt or something," Logan added.

Roman frowned. "What error?"

"You should have said 'Logan and I' instead of 'me and Logan'," he explained.

Roman blinked. "What?"

"It doesn't matter," Logan said. "Please continue."

"Okay, uh... Yeah, so if we never got in that fight," he carried on, "we never would've stared this video project, Virgil never would've climbed that tree, and we never would've been this place. Also, even if we didn't do the video project, we never would've become friends if it wasn't for Virgil."

"I'm not sure about that," Virgil said. "I mean, if you were doing all this even without me in the picture, you guys still would've been friends, right?"

Roman and Logan looked at each other, then shook their heads simultaneously.

"Nope," Roman said, at the same time that Logan said, "Never would've happened."

"Why did you two even hate each so much?" Virgil wondered.

"None of your business," they both said. Logan added, "It's behind us now, anyway."

Virgil held his hands up. "Okay. Well, I'm glad you've made up at least."

Patton smiled. "And I'm glad that you're here to help with that, Virgil. It was painful to watch them fight for so long."

"I'm glad that you're here in general, Virgil," Roman said, wrapping his arm around him. Patton did the same, also pulling Logan closer to include him in the hug.

Virgil wasn't going to let himself cry. "I'm glad that all you guys are here. You three are... yeah, you're literally the only friends I've ever had in my life. Wow. Thanks for not stabbing me in the back, guys."

Roman planted a kiss on Virgil's cheeks. "We all love you, Virgil. And we know that you love us."

The four sat in silence for a moment, before Virgil let out, "Well, that was cheesy. We done with all this?"

Patton giggled. "We should get to filming."

_20:59_

They watched the sun fall behind the cliff. The sun would fall beneath the Earth soon, too. Everything they needed had been filmed. It was time to go home.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Sunday 9th July**  
_10:21_

Virgil listened closely to Roman's voice from yesterday, searching the perfect piece of footage to match up with his gentle tone. He had been working on editing the video since the previous night (taking a short break from around three til five for a power nap) and he wanted everything to be _perfect_. The four of them had worked too hard for it to not be perfect.

He still hadn't quite figured out why he had decided to volunteer to take care of the editing. It wasn't like he had any experience - of course, that was nothing that a few YouTube tutorials and free editing software he downloaded from online couldn't fix. He supposed he just felt like he needed to do _something_ , since he hadn't really done much in the video. Sure, he helped with the filming and finding locations and stuff, but he didn't have any lines and did very little when it came to writing the script.

Besides, maybe editing was good for him. Surprisingly, he found it something that he enjoyed, despite the whole thing being extremely frustrating. But he could do this. He could make it _perfect_.

A soft ping rung out through the room, but to Virgil the sound was deafening. He mentally cursed himself for somehow letting his phone to come off silence, before grabbing his phone and quickly flicking the switch on the side. Once he was sure his phone wouldn't make any annoying pings again, he allowed himself to read the message that had come through.

 **10:23** 🌈 **princey** 🌈 **:** _Get ur ass down to the field u beautiful bastard. Put on something nice. Were havin a photo shoot_

Virgil smiled fondly as he read the message, but his smile soon faded when he thought about it. A photo shoot. That meant they would take photos of him. Photos were not something that Virgil was overly keen on.

But this was Roman and Logan and Patton so surely it would all be alright.

Virgil glanced down at what he was wearing - a worn out black hoodie and checkered purple pyjama bottoms - and shook his head, knowing that wouldn't be appropriate for the occasion. The more he thought about it, the more obvious it was. He quickly typed out a response to Roman as he stood up to get changed.

 **10:24 Me:** _i'll be there in twenty_

Throwing his phone back on his bed, he turned to his wardrobe and squinted at the clothes inside, staring at it for what must have been five minutes as he tried to figure out what would be the best choice. In the end, he settled for a _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ hoodie that he had received for Christmas the previous year, along with a pair of black ripped jeans. That would be fine, he thought - or more rather, hoped.

What was he saying. Of course it'd be fine.

He took his phone back off the bed and shoved it in his pocket. On his way down the stairs, he shouted, "Going out, Dad!" but received only silence.

_10:46_

The other three were already at the field when Virgil arrived. Patton rushed up to him, wearing a crop top with the pan pride flag and a flowing blue skirt. They wrapped their arms around Virgil, pulling him into a hug. Virgil just smiled and patted them on the back, until they pulled away and allowed the other two to come forward.

Roman absolutely rocked his crop top, the deep red complimenting his darker skin tone, with a golden star displayed on the front, just like Roman himself. And on top of that, he killed it in those short shorts as well.

And then there was Logan. Who wore that outfit. Their outfit. The one that Virgil had helped him pick out. The Nirvana t-shirt under the blue plaid, and that beanie. Virgil smiled at Logan.

"I like your top," Virgil said, holding back giggles.

A wave of of realisation seemed to spread over Logan's face. "Shoot. I forgot this was your shirt."

Virgil rolled his eyes, but maintained his smirk. "I mean, I did give it to you last year. Just surprised that you'd wear it now."

"It's my favourite top," Logan defended.

"Of course it is."

"Seriously!" Logan sighed. "Everything else that I own is so professional."

"And Nirvana isn't professional," Roman said.

Logan frowned. "Who?"

Roman blinked. "Er, the band on your top?"

Logan just started at him.

"He doesn't listen to Nirvana," Virgil explained. "He just likes stealing my clothes."

"I don't not-"

"Oh, yeah, sorry - he likes stealing _that_ piece of clothing specifically," Virgil corrected.

"I didn't steal it," Logan said, almost convincingly. "Virgil give it to me."

"Keep telling yourself that, Lo," Virgil said.

A flash of light momentarily blinded Virgil. His head snapped in this direction, finding Patton fiddling with a camera.

"Why is the flash on?" they murmured. "I swear I turned it off..."

"Did you just take a picture of me?" Virgil asked.

Patton giggled, looking up at Virgil, and exclaimed, "You looked so cute with that smile!"

Virgil opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself, because this was Patton and he couldn't be angry at Patton, even if he did hate having his photo taken without warning.

Roman clapped his hands together. "Well, we should probably get on with this."

Logan and Patton nodded and began to get into a position, but Virgil just stood there for a few more moments, confused. "Why are we actually doing this?" he asked.

"Logan was working on the credits and wanted some photos of us," Patton informed him.

"Oh." He supposed that made sense. "Alright then."

"Should we do individuals or a group photo first?" Logan asked.

"Get the individual photos out of the way first," Roman ordered, seemingly happy to take control of the situation. "Then we'll have plenty of time to sort out the group photo."

The four of them got to work, mostly letting Patton take the photos (without flash this time) and Logan to take Patton's. Virgil offered to go first, wanting to get it over with quickly. He only let Patton take a couple before making his escape and standing behind Patton, watching them take a few of Logan and a million of Roman. Patton then handed the camera to Logan and allowed him to take some pictures of themself, before Logan handed the camera to Roman who proceeded to get it set up for the group.

"I suggest that instead of a photo, we recorded a few seconds of us just-"

"Logan!" a familiar voice shouted.

Virgil's blood turned cold. No. No, it couldn't be him. That was all over. They had moved on, right? Or maybe they hadn't. Maybe Virgil's life would just end at that moment. The moment that Dee came jogging towards Logan.

"Loggie, I came to your house looking for you, and-"

"Why are you here, Dee?" Logan asked, sounding almost... tired. Exhausted. Defeated.

Dee glanced at the other three, who had all moved behind Logan. Virgil crossed his arms, half to look semi-intimidating and half to help calm himself down a little.

"Because I swear I made it pretty clear that I never wanted to see you again," Logan continued.

"Oh, is that right?" Dee said, stepping forward. "I just went over to your house to see if you and I were still going to prom together."

The words didn't seem to come out of Logan's mouth, as he was clearly taken aback by the comment.

Virgil stepped towards Dee, ignoring the voice in his head that screamed at him to run. "Do you really think that would happen after everything you did?"

"Logan and I are good friends," Dee said through gritted teeth.

"No, we're not, Dee," Logan said, forcibly. "And no, that isn't happening, alright?"

"But-"

"Fuck off, Dee," Virgil snapped.

Dee took one look at Virgil, fear filling his eyes, and then pelted away.

Virgil turned to Logan, watching Patton wrap their arms around him and whispering to him, hopefully words of encouragement or something to help him calm down.

"Well, now that asshole's gone, should we get on with this?" Roman suggested.

Logan nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, let's- let's do that."

They got into position in front of the camera and did exactly what Roman had thought of before - filming a couple seconds of them there, smiling and waving. The final shot, they decided. It would be what ended it all - a perfect shot to show just how much they had all grown and joined forces and formed the _perfect_ group of friends.

And once that was over, Virgil allowed himself to breathe.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Monday 1st September - Four Years Ago**  
_9:05_

_It was his first day of secondary school, and Virgil was bad at making friends. He always had been. The only friend he had ever managed to keep was Logan, and even then it hadn't even been a year yet. Eventually he'd lose him too - he knew that. It was difficult to be optimistic when everybody else had abandoned him._

_His form tutor had decided to do an icebreaker for the first day. She wanted him to talk to his table partner, to tell him three facts about himself and vice versa as a way to get to know one another. But the words wouldn't come out. Virgil wasn't good at talking to people. He wasn't good at telling people about himself._

_So he left. He stood up and walked straight out the room, sitting in the corridor by himself with no one to help him. Logan wasn't here and he had no other friends. He definitely wouldn't make any friends now, not after storming out the classroom terrified. Everyone would think he was a weirdo, a freak, insane, unstable. He was._

_That didn't matter, anyway. He'd probably move schools before Christmas. That always happened. Either Dad dragged him out to a new place or other people ran him out. He had gotten used to it at this point._

_But as he sat in that corridor, trying his best to hold back the tears, he thought and thought, wondering what it would be like to keep a friend. To have someone who would follow him into the corridor and make sure he was okay. Maybe Logan could do that, but... he wasn't here. Virgil couldn't rely on Logan. Not when it was inevitable that Logan would grow tired of Virgil and leave him in the dust._

_The teacher soon came out and Virgil went back in, but the thought lingered in his mind. What would it be like to truly have a friend?_

_Perhaps he'd never know._

**Friday 12th July**  
_13:01_

The lights dimmed as Virgil took a seat besides Roman, who placed a hand on his shaking leg. It was time for the grand reveal, time to find out if this had all been worth it. Everyone was here - his teachers, his friends, even his dad. If this went badly and everyone hated it, then Virgil's life would be over. Mr Sanders could lose his job, Roman would hate him, his dad would be disappointed in him. He had worked too hard for this to fail.

As soon as the video started playing, Virgil lost himself in it all. Whilst editing, he hadn't quite realised how beautiful it all was, how amazing the sights were, how calming his friends' voices were. Everything had come together. Everything was perfect, just like he wanted. And when it came to that final pose they had taken in the field, with the four of them in a line looking absolutely thrilled to be besides one another, Virgil couldn't help but smile.

And when the lights came back on, the room erupted into applause.

It had worked.

"Well done, boys," Mr Sanders congratulation, a huge smile across his face. "I knew you could do it."

And then everyone went off. Patton went over to his dad, with Roman following closely behind, as he own parents hadn't shown up. Logan moved to his father as well, and Virgil's own dad came to him, enclosing him in a hug.

After a second or two, they pulled apart, and his dad asked, "Did you actually do all that?"

"No, I stole all your money and hired someone else to make it for us, obviously," Virgil replied, but immediately regretted the sarcasm when he saw his dad's shocked face. "I'm joking," he added. "That's what I've been spending so much time on."

His dad was silent for a moment, before saying, "You don't want to take over the company, do you?"

Virgil shook his head. "Nope. But, like, I get that I probably will have to."

"You don't," his dad promised. "You should do this."

Virgil frowned. "What?" Was his dad being serious? There was no way that-

"Seriously. Be a film maker, or whatever," his dad said.

Virgil sucked in a breath. "Okay," he said, his voice higher than usual. "I guess that's happening now."

"You really seem to enjoy it," his dad explained further, "and I want you to be happy, okay?"

He smiled. For once, Virgil was able to return it.

"So," his dad continued, the smile now turning into a smirk, "which one's your boyfriend, again?"

Virgil laughed and playfully shoved him. "Dad!"

"Really, I want to meet him," his dad said.

"Okay, alright..." He turned around. "Hey, Roman, over here!"

Roman crossed the room in less than a second. "Hi, Virgil's dad."

His dad pursed his lips. "So you're the boy who stole my son's heart."

Roman blushed. "I, uh, yeah."

Virgil's dad smiled. "Come along, I want to talk to you."

Although hesitant at first, Roman followed Virgil's dad to the other side of the room, leaving Virgil alone in his chair. He pulled out his phone, realising that he still hadn't replied to Remy, despite it having been a long, long time. Remy had also sent him many messages between then and now, mostly consisting of: _gurlll_ , _where r u_ , and _you better not be dead_

Virgil took this time to finally respond.

 **onthevergeoftears**  
hey remy, sorry for being gone so long, but get this - i'm alive. things have been hectic this past couple months. i hope i'm not too late for your crisis.

Remy responded almost immediately. Virgil watched his phone blow up with texts.

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
:o ur back!

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
don't worry gurl, crisis over, and now I have a lovely lil boyfriend who doesn't disappear for months at a time wen the love of his life is having a crisis

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
the crisis was about said boufriend btw

 **sleepisfortheweek**  
and i'm glad ur not dead love u <3

Virgil smiled, ready to text back Remy and force him to tell him everything about this boyfriend, but then Patton came up besides him. Virgil locked his phone, making a mental note to ask Remy later, and looked up at his friend.

"You're staying at this school next year for sixth form, right?" Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, why-"

Patton hugged him. "Good. You're not allowed to abandon me."

Virgil just smiled. "I wouldn't want to. Not ever." Not when he was one of the first friends Virgil had ever made.

Logan joined the two of them, not saying much but reassuring them that he would stick with them too. Soon enough, Roman completed the pack, grinning as he told Virgil about his dad's plans to welcome him into the family. And the four of them sat there, perfectly content.

Virgil had found his friends. He had found the people who would follow him out in the corridor and make sure he was okay. He had found people he could rely on. People he loved, and who loved him back.

And was there really anything else that mattered?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank! You! For! Reading! You are awesome! 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this! I certainly enjoyed writing it, at least. So thank you for coming with me on this journey :D 
> 
> Thanks again to @theloveliestjellyfish for being an awesome beta, and also to @rupige for creating the art in the first place. Seriously guys, please go follow both of these amazing people right now. My Tumblr is @gaylotusthatexists if you want to follow me as well ^^
> 
> But seriously, I’m v glad that you read this far and hope that you enjoyed it! Thank you so so so much!
> 
> Love you all <3


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